From Addiction to Purpose – A Six-Year Journey of Healing and Soul Recovery

It's hard to believe that what started as a personal battle with alcohol has blossomed into six transformative years of sobriety and Soul Recovery where I could celebrate the anniversary on an Island in Indonesia also celebrating 30 years of marriage. It can feel hopeless when we are in the depth of our suffering- but there is a solution if we are ready to make the decision to live and heal.  The suffering can be from addiction, or it can be from the pain of being a human being.  In Soul Recovery we are learning how to accept our lives as they are, turn the attention to ourselves and learn to love ourselves and heal the past.  I am grateful for sobriety of body, mind and spirit and the opportunity to share Soul Recovery with you.

For more information about Rev. Rachel Harrison and Recover Your Soul- visit the website www.recoveryoursoul.net  use the code TRYASESSION for 40% off your first Spiritual Coaching session when you book on the website.  Visit the website for all events and groups to get involved in Soul Recovery and the community.

Soul Recovery Support Group on Zoom -The 1st Monday of the Month, 6PM Mountain Time. This is a drop in support group where we can come together to explore, connect and support each other on our Soul Recovery journey.  Visit the website to register and receive the meeting invite.  Free to attend and donations appreciated.

Ready for a weekend of Soul Recovery, deep healing and Transformation?!?!?! Join Rev Rachel on June 8th and 9th in Lafayette Colorado for 2 full days of teachings, meditation, group work, journaling, connection and sound healing and Soul Recovery with others in the community.  Use  this coupon code at check out for $50 off!  RYSJUNERETREAT$50 

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.

Transcript

Rev Rachel Harrison: 0:46

For this episode. I'm celebrating my six-year sober anniversary that I got to celebrate in Indonesia on an island on February 10th with my husband, and I wanted to share it with you because this was such a profound moment in being on that vacation and just seeing how much soul recovery has changed my life in so many ways. Really, the drinking is just such a part of it that is small but it's bigger than that. It was starting to truly be willing to look deeply into myself, to turn the attention to myself, to do the spiritual work that has allowed me to find a freedom, a peace, a happiness, a happy, healthy life through a spiritual path. And I wanted to share this episode with you because for me it was alcohol. But the truth is that most of us lean on something and learned early on in life that escaping was the way to get past the feelings. And we're learning in soul recovery how to move beyond that. We're learning how to face what is, how to find contentment and peace in our lives, how to let go of the victim mentality, how to change our story. And this opportunity that I had to go on this trip with Rich was so amazing and we had probably the best vacation that I've ever had in my whole life easy, stress-free, and that didn't come on accident. That came because I have done the spiritual and internal work that allowed me to just be open and let go of expectation and be present. So to celebrate six years of sobriety in this way was so wonderful and I'm so grateful for all of you in this community. If you know someone who's struggling with addiction, this might be a great episode to share, because I've been there. I've been there and I chose and made a decision to choose myself and to get. Well, enjoy the episode.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 2:59

Welcome to the Recover your Soul podcast a spiritual path to a happy and healthy life. My name is Reverend Rachel Harrison. I started Recover your Soul after having profound changes in my life from my recovery of alcoholism, codependency and control addiction. I was guided to share the tools and principles of spirituality and soul recovery to help others transform their lives as mine was transformed. For us to overcome external circumstances, we need to turn the attention to ourselves, focusing on our interchange and healing. Positive results in our lives will follow.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 3:40

Today is February 10th, 2024. And it's been six years since I took my last alcoholic drink. And it's so interesting because at this moment I'm actually sitting on an island, the Minto'i Islands, off of the coast of Indonesia, on a vacation with my husband, and the concept of me not drinking on this vacation, first of all, just is so amazing that years ago I wouldn't have even been able to believe that I could sit someplace and be happy and enjoy myself and feel carefree and be having a great time and not have alcohol be part of that to celebrate vacation. And the other thing that's so beautiful and amazing is the last time I did a huge trip was when I went to Thailand with my mom six years ago, and it was getting off of that airplane on the 10th of February. That was my first day of being sober, of choosing a life without what had been a very, very long and difficult relationship with alcohol, both my friend and my foe, so often. And so, as I sit here today just feeling this gratitude, this awareness of how fortunate I am to have beat the demon of addiction on this level, I just wanted to share it with you because I know many of you may have an addiction that might not be alcohol, but we all can be consumed by this promise that something that at one point is our solution that is in there, that really wants to convince us that we can and will have some sort of peace, that will have some sort of answer that will come from whatever. This is behavior or a substance, and for a while it is. It is the solution. It was what made things fun. It was what made it so that I could be comfortable in my skin. It was how I connected with people. It was a good time. But there was this time that happened long before I quit actually drinking, where the solution had become more of a way of me drowning out what was really going on inside of me, the pain and suffering that was really going on inside of me.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 6:06

Alcoholism and drug addiction in particular. I think I want to really focus on that for this episode, although I want to really strike that. There's sugar addiction, there's food addiction, there's porn addiction, there's shopping, there's deading, there is relationship addiction, there is control addiction. There are so many ways that we can become gripped in what feels like the chains that bind us. But Drug and alcohol addiction where you take in a substance that will eventually become your master Because that's what the substances do that we think that. Oh, I won't let that get to me. You think that it's because you're wanting to fit in, or you think that it's because you're having a good time? The makeup of these substances Touches our bodies and our minds in a certain way that hits our addictive self, and they are addictive. And so, regardless of how much willpower or how much strength that you think that you have, or that you do have, at Some point, when you continue to put these substances in your body, you will indeed become crippled by them. They will indeed take it over.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 7:26

And it's interesting sitting at the bar at this amazing resort that I'm at, there's not a lot of people like totally crazy drinking. It was fun on the last night of the first week that we were here. They always do a party the night before people leave on the boat and you watch people like celebrating means drinking, it means that you do shots and it means that you drink and and on some level I could watch how it does kick it up a notch and makes it feel like you're having such a better time. And Yet I was not one of those people that was drinking and I was having a great time. And there was another friend that I had made a woman on that vacation and she wasn't drinking and she was really. She was young, she was really having a good time and singing karaoke and dancing and laughing.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 8:16

You don't have to have it, but there's something in us that Tweaks that. We think that that is what is going to make it be better and Tell. It becomes the demon until you are trained to believe that you can't live without it. So then the next morning it's interesting to see the people that stayed up until 12 or 1 o'clock in the morning Drinking and partying and having a good time and that totally used to be me. That totally used to be me and the rest of us who went to sleep at 11 or 11 30 and tried to sleep through the music and how different people feel in the morning and you can just see kind of the haze and the fog and the Hangover and the not feeling good. And there's no judgment in any of this.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 9:07

The thing about looking at your life in this new way, through the soul recovery lens, which is to take a look at it for exactly as it is Life happens, things happen. Is it happening to you? Do you feel like it is happening to you? Are you judging others for their experience. Are you looking at what it is for them and thinking that you know better? I know no better for any other person who is here on this island resort with me, or In my life in general, or anybody out in the world. I see so much more clearly you, from this six years of soul recovery and deep, deep, deep exploration with myself, deep spiritual learning, that we're just all here to grow and to learn and to discover, and there's no right or wrong, it just is so. I look at where I was when I finally, thankfully, made the decision, made a decision to choose myself, to choose a different way of being, to choose sobriety, to choose to live again, to choose to find and remember who I am or even discover who that was. I don't even think I know who that was. I think that I had no idea who that was because I was so consumed with trying to feed the dragon of addiction and also trying to feed this dragon of control, this dragon of people-pleasing, of codependence, that had been such a big part of my life for so long.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 11:02

If you're ready for soul recovery, as a spiritual coach I can support your healing to help make real changes that will bring you a life of peace, happiness, connection and abundance. You can also work in smaller groups by taking a deep dive in a Zoom workshop or with me in person at a retreat or an event. Join others on the Soul Recovery Path, once a month for the free Zoom support group or daily on the private Facebook page. Visit the website recoveryoursoulnet to book coaching sessions with me or find all the information you need about soul recovery dates that are coming up and how to register for those groups and workshops. To support the podcast and the community, check the links in the show notes to make a small monthly donation or a one-time donation of your choice. That will make a huge impact to support this community and the Soul Recovery mission. Together we can do the work that will recover your soul.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 12:00

And when we start to think about doing something different, when we start to look at how are we going to curate a new way of being in the world, it takes a strong and decisive choice to take responsibility for your own experience, for the way in which you choose to see things. It takes you deciding that you want more for yourself and letting go of all the precepts that have been set up for us in life about who we're supposed to be or how it's supposed to look, or what we're supposed to do, or, culturally, what we may have known, and especially the story that we've been telling ourselves. So the story that I told myself was that my life wasn't what I wanted it to be, that I wasn't who I wanted it to be, that my marriage wasn't the way that I wanted it to be, and that raising kids hadn't turned out the way that I wanted it to be. And I was so consumed with how I thought I wanted it to be that that story drug me into a place where I was disappointed and sad about everything all the time, even if it was just a little switch of complaint. Right when you start changing the way you see it, just a little bit, just a little bit, you start noticing that every thought, every word, every action that you take is actually setting up how the world is going to show up for you. And so when I sat around with my girlfriends and I complained about my husband, I was setting up energy for him to give me more to complain about. And then, when I was unhappy, then I wanted to feel the energy around how much despair I felt around that by drinking, by drinking to both alleviate that pain and also to switch my energy. I used to think that if I drank, then it would give me that euphoric feeling, which it did for about 10 or 20 minutes that would wipe away the pain that I was feeling. And then, behind that was that story loop of being not happy, of my life not being what I wanted, of my husband not being what I wanted, of my job not being what I wanted, that my responsibilities were such and such that my kids needed such and such that I was responsible for everyone's happiness in such and such a way. Right. So it's like these tapes that are playing these stories that we're telling ourselves. So I think the greatest gift that I gave myself when I stepped off of that airplane and I had been in sobriety before, I had done AA previously but I had really done it because I wanted rich to quit drinking more than I wanted me to quit drinking and I still had a lot of self-righteousness within me that felt like I knew a better way.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 15:18

And when I got off the plane and went back into the rooms and went back to my first AA meeting that day, I chose to save my own life. I wasn't sure whether my marriage was going to make it. I wasn't sure if my kids were going to make it. I wasn't sure if we were going to be a happy family. I let go of the need for all of those things to line up for me to choose my own life, to choose my own healing, to choose my own way of finding love for myself and love for my life again.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 15:55

I wanted to be in a place where I didn't feed that demon that was being fueled not only by the way that the toxin meets with your body and makes your body desire and crave for more, but the part of my brain that so desperately wanted to get out of the prison. That addiction is the part of my brain that so much wanted to feel at ease and feel at peace and knew knew that there was something more calling for me, that I was being guided and led by my higher power to find and connect with and remember that I am always supported and held and loved by something greater still. And as I sit in this room, this hotel room, overlooking the ocean, there's so many different factors that are at play. One is just the fact that I actually want to be on a trip with rich. There were so many years where we didn't get along that well that the whole concept of spending three weeks straight with him 24, seven did not appeal to me at all, because we fought and we bickered and I was always rolling my eyes or I don't know. I just was always not happy with how things were going.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 17:27

And to be able to come here now and have done the sole recovery work of letting go of control, of releasing my need to be in charge, of releasing the belief that I know better and practicing all the principles, about keeping my mouth shut about so many things that I find that I think that I want to have an opinion about. We're here for a surfing trip and there's all this great opportunity for me to do my own thing, which I'm so grateful for, but I have all kinds of opinions about surfing. What do I know about surfing? Just because I've been with a man for 32 years who's a surfer, you would think that I know some things, and the truth is I've never even been in the water, besides one time when he pushed me into a wave. So why? Why would I think that I have something to offer in these situations, it's that part of us that feels like we're responsible. You know what it is. I want him to have a great time. I want him to have the trip of a lifetime, and so I want that part of me that wants everything to turn out just great, because if everybody can be great, I can be okay.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 18:42

And on this trip I'm not doing that. Today there's no waves, yesterday no waves, tomorrow probably no waves. And that would have made me crazy. Before. I would have felt like I needed to entertain rich or that I was responsible for the fact that there was no waves. I really would have taken that on to my own, being that I had something to do with that. And now I just look and I think what am I going to do? How am I going to interact? How do I just listen to him either being okay with it or not being okay with it. And the more that I have done that, the more that I really enjoy being with this human being who is on his own spiritual journey, who is so much more enjoyable to hang around with, since we've both been on this soul recovery journey together. He is, I'd like to be happy to report for those of you who continue to be part of our story. He's not drinking on this trip and he is trying to make a concerted effort to be sober, but I haven't hounded him about it. I haven't talked to him daily about it. I'm not really thinking about it. This is my experience, and to have this opportunity to celebrate my six year sober date on this beautiful island is amazing. It's amazing. It is an absolute dream come true. It's a miracle, a deep and true miracle.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 20:14

And so if you're in a situation where you or somebody that you know is struggling, it's not an easy place to be. I've been there. I remember when that stewardess didn't want to give me those last couple glasses of wine, and she looked at me and she said, man, I've never served so much alcohol on a flight as I did on this flight. And I'm sure she was talking about me, but I also might be totally self-serving thinking that she was only talking about me, but I could feel the desperation within myself that wanted as much as I could before. I knew that I was going to take this new way of being.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 20:54

This is a part of us that is clawing its way to not die, but we need to be willing to let that part, let go, that ego piece of us that is so convinced that we can't live without whatever the substance or the behavior is, is not our healthy self, it's not our true self. It is something young and something wounded, and something that is desperate for easy reward, that is afraid to look at what's underneath. And what I want to offer you is that if you can, within yourself, have that moment of grace, just that moment where you remember the value of who you are, as a human being, as a spirit here on earth, having this experience, and you can touch that place just for a moment, that's all you need, that tiny door of willingness that can see a glimmer of light. They can see a moment of hope. And the interesting thing that I've discovered in myself was all of the stuff that I thought was so heavy and so dark and so afraid to look at has turned out to be my humanness that we all have. It's turned out to be more interesting than I thought it would be. I thought it would be much darker and heavier, but the more that I surrender, the more that I release. There's actually a lightness and opening, a release that the past truly can be transformed and opened and let go that.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 22:56

When I look back and I reflect on the stories of my life that used to really hurt in my heart and hurt in my body, there's no energy there anymore because I can see the value of what those experiences taught me. I'm rewriting the story. I'm choosing the story that aligns more with who I truly am, my higher self, and I'm letting go of the need to be a victim. I'm letting go of a need to be self-righteous. I'm letting go of the part of me that that addict fed and it's become a soft piece of me. I still have tenderness for the part of me that wanted to escape on such a level, and I see it in other people. So when I'm with another person and I can see the sadness in their eyes as they're sitting there drinking their however many beers, I don't have judgment.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 24:01

What I have is I have compassion because I remember those feelings and instead of feeling like I need to say something or offer even words of advice within myself, I'm sending out spiritual energy, I'm sending love, I'm sending connection, I'm opening, I'm radiating out the knowing that there is hope for everyone. There is something for everyone to be able to choose recovery, to choose soul recovery, to choose to remember who you are, to see your wholeness, to see the truth of your potential, because we were all brought here, allowed to have this experience, to open and to connect and to see our divine nature within us. And that's a pretty big stretch when you're in the depths of it. It's a big stretch, I get it, I remember. But it's an absolute miracle that six years later and counting, the demon no longer lays on my back and there's other demons that are there to take its place that I have to be mindful of, because this part of us that is always trying to escape the feelings is sly and tenacious and comes in different ways. But we're here to grow and to learn and we're here to be kind to ourselves and we're here to do whatever it takes to find peace and healing and contentment and grace and compassion and self-love. That is what soul recovery is all about.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 26:08

So thank you for helping me celebrate six years of sobriety. It also is Chinese New Year, which is appropriate. A new year, a new dawn, a new day. And if you slip, pick up and start again. Just because I have six continuous years does not mean that I'm better than anyone else. And the truth is, rich has not been continuously sober since we both quit around the same time, but that's okay, because I'm watching him have his spiritual journey. I'm watching him learn more about himself and be on this path with me in his own way, and through that we're healing. Through that we're creating a marriage that is worth celebrating, and this trip is also our celebration of our 30 years together.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 27:00

In June will be our 30th wedding anniversary, and I remember when we had our last platform of 25, I didn't feel the same way that I do now. I wasn't sure, I still was conflicted, I was still in a lot of pain, and a lot can happen in a very short period of time. When we're ready and when you have people around you who are, in their own way, doing their work, it's a reminder that we all are reflecting and helping each other to grow and to change. But the energy should always be on our own experience and our own journey and our own transformation, and knowing that through that transformation, we are indeed inspiring and offering healing to others. Until next time, namaste, thank you for listening to the Recover your Soul podcast and if you loved what you heard here, every Friday we have a bonus episode and you can access this by becoming a subscriber through Apple podcasts for only $3.99 a month, or become a Patreon member, and on this platform, you can choose $5.15 or $25 a month to show what you want to support the show with On both of these subscriber platforms is an entire catalog of back episodes intended to inspire and support you on your soul recovery journey.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 28:30

I really want to invite everybody to attend the free once a month, every first Monday of the month support group. This is on Zoom. Everyone is welcome to attend and by giving a like or a review and sharing this with your friends and family really helps us to share the soul recovery message with even more people. We are on social media. We are on all the platforms. I am on TikTok. You can listen to guided meditations by Rev Rachel Harrison on Insight Timer. Thank you for supporting the show. Thank you for being part of the community. To find out more about soul recovery and everything that's being offered, visit the website wwwrecoveryoursoulnet. Together, we can do the work that will recover your soul.