Reclaiming Your Healing: Through Soul Recovery- Closure Comes from Within

Have you ever yearned for closure with someone, longing for a chance to reconcile past conflicts or hurts? Join Rev Rachel as she speaks to the power of Soul Recovery, where healing and closure come from within.  Learn how to navigate through difficult situations and release the need for external validation, paving the way for personal growth and inner peace. Tune in to explore how embracing Soul Recovery can transform your healing journey.

For more information about Rev. Rachel Harrison and Recover Your Soul- visit the website www.recoveryoursoul.net  use the code TRYASESSION for 40% off your first Spiritual Coaching session when you book on the website.  Visit the website for all events and groups to get involved in Soul Recovery and the community.

Soul Recovery Support Group on Zoom -The 1st Monday of the Month, 6PM Mountain Time. This is a drop in support group where we can come together to explore, connect and support each other on our Soul Recovery journey.  Visit the website to register and receive the meeting invite.  Free to attend and donations appreciated.

Ready for a weekend of Soul Recovery, deep healing and Transformation?!?!?! Join Rev Rachel on June 8th and 9th in Lafayette Colorado for 2 full days of teachings, meditation, group work, journaling, connection and sound healing and Soul Recovery with others in the community.  Use  this coupon code at check out for $50 off!  RYSJUNERETREAT$50 

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.

Transcript

Rev Rachel Harrison: 0:47

Have you ever wanted to meet with somebody to have closure? Maybe there was a lot of conflict in the relationship, maybe they really harmed you or hurt you in some way and you've worked through it in your own mind and you want closure. You want to be able to have a conversation where you go back and forth and each person really owns their piece and unfortunately, that's generally not how it works out. Their peace and unfortunately, that's generally not how it works out. Most people aren't able to hear what the other person really needs to say and then we get stuck in our healing process because we're waiting for the other person to show up in some way to validate our feelings. In soul recovery we're learning how to have this process within ourself, to be responsible for our own healing, to be able to have that closure but it comes from within and to let go of the need of that other person to validate how they hurt you or how you have worked through the process yourself. In this episode we talk about how soul recovery can be used to let you move through difficult situations and find closure within. Enjoy.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 1:59

Welcome to the Recover your Soul podcast a spiritual path to a happy and healthy life. My name is Reverend Rachel Harrison. I started Recover your Soul after having profound changes in my life from my recovery of alcoholism, codependency and control addiction. I was guided to share the tools and principles of spirituality and soul recovery to help others transform their lives as mine was transformed. For us to overcome external circumstances, we need to turn the attention to ourselves, focusing on our inner change and healing. Positive results in our lives will follow. Welcome to Recover your Soul. I'm Rev Rachel. Thank you very much for choosing to spend your time with me listening to this podcast and being on your soul recovery journey.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 2:49

This desire to let go of everything that's outside of us that we've given strength to, to determine how we feel and turning it back to ourself, taking that attention back to ourself and looking at how we choose to be in the world. How we choose to be in the world and today. What I want to talk about is closure and communication and processing difficult feelings and difficult memories, because one of the things that I recognize in my prior life, in my working, when I was really consumed with wanting to be in conversation with the people in my life who were causing me problems, right so Rich and I, for example, would be going to therapy and we would spend the entire time just back and forth, back and forth. Here's what I don't like, here's what I don't like. Here's where you hurt me. Here's where you hurt me. Here's what's going on that I don't like now. Here's what I don't like then. Here's where I think that came from. And we would come out of those offices with more angst, more energy around what the problems were than we came out with solutions or connection. And I'm not saying that's always the case. I'm saying that that is what can happen. And we were clearly going to people that just let us bicker back and forth about what we were feeling, except for this one coach that we went to when we separated.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 4:19

If you've heard my stories around my life, if you've been listening for a while about 15 years ago is that right? No, 15 years ago we got sober. So it was another maybe 13, 12 or 13 years ago. I just got fed up and had had enough and left to take a break and we started going to this particular coach who, in coaching, it has a different parameter. You're getting pushed more, your patterns are getting reflected, your buttons are getting recognized. You're looking at these things, and he was the first person who didn't put up with either one of our stories, who didn't put up with it, didn't put up with mine, didn't put up with Rich's, and it was the first time I'd had that pattern interrupt to look at how I wanted to have the other person hear me from this way that I had been wounded, that I had been hurt.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 5:15

And what I think is so interesting in soul recovery is we're starting to look at this tool, this incredible tool which is our own experience, our own processing and realizing that we're powerless over everything outside of ourself. And part of that is realizing that when you show up to have conversation with that other person, we want them to show up in a way that they're going to hear us a specific way. We want them to respond to us in a specific way and they're just in their own experience, which can be very open and ready and curious and interested. Or it can be shut down and ready and curious and interested, or it can be shut down and defensive and hurt. But we need to begin to start to look at every single person in the situation with compassion, every single person in our lives from this level of who are they in their experience? Who are they in their experience? And can I let go of this attachment that I have to processing with them what I need to learn about myself and turning that attention back to ourself and saying how I reflect on this internal learning, this internal growing, this internal expanding of my awareness?

Rev Rachel Harrison: 6:33

Happens within me or happens with somebody, such as working with me as a spiritual coach or another person who is on a journey, who can hold space for you, to see you as your elevated, higher self, looking at these feelings within us and not getting attached or identified with them, because we can also end up being with friends who can just let us churn, churn, churn, churn, churn, our pain and our misery. And then it's like being in that office with your spouse, where you're just complaining but they're not there to hear You're just doing it with your spouse where you're just complaining but they're not there to hear. You're just doing it with your friend. And in the end, every time we get caught up in those feelings, we relive them. Our brain does not know the difference between thought and reality. If you think about how your emotions are when you really think about something that felt fabulous, that was one of those wonderful moments in your life. You can feel in your body how you relive it and have gone from being in a cheerful place to going to that memory and you are instantly triggered and re-instigated into feeling that destructive energy.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 7:59

When we're in this concept of beginning to process with ourself what's happening within us in soul recovery it's so important that we continue to say this over and over that it is taking blame and judgment off the table completely and recognizing how much of ourself is in those feelings of wanting to attach to someone being wrong or us being wrong, or someone doing something right or us doing something right. Who's wrong here? Who's right here? Instead of just releasing all of that and looking at how you feel, looking at what's actually happening to you, and as we get healthier in body, mind and spirit, as we begin to progress in these tools of soul recovery to access ourself from this new perception, we begin to let things go. We begin to recognize and see the situations more fully, with our clinging to how we were harmed or what was it for us, and we begin to see with more compassion for everyone, for everyone in that situation, for ourselves, for every player in that situation and the energy starts to dissipate and you know what we want to do. We want to go talk to them. We want to go have this discussion with them about how we had been harmed by them, and these were the things that really hurt and now I'm feeling better about it and in some cases, that's a beautiful thing to do.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 9:49

In some cases, making a verbal amend to somebody, where you are owning up to how you felt about it maybe the part where you had come back with harms from the situation and you're not leaning into this is what they did to you, but you're really leaning into the. I want to make awareness If you are in a situation with somebody where that door opens and it feels healthy, kind and appropriate, those moments can be incredibly powerful moments. But there's this other part of us that wants so desperately to have these conversations with people so that they can validate our experience, even our experience of healing, and this particular episode is really around the clarity of what's happening in healing in your own mind, body and soul, is all that matters. Your experience of it is all that matters. When we are healing and when we are even more healed, we can be in a situation that used to blow our mind that used to overwhelm us, that used to harm us, hurt us, make us feel a certain way, and we recognize that that all came from inside, that allowance of somebody to harm us. And we can handle situations that we never thought that we can handle before. We can be present in feeling uncomfortable, we can be present in feeling distress, but we don't collapse, we don't fall apart. We don't turn to old patterns of rage or withdraw or control. We are actually recognizing our wholeness and standing in each of these situations from a place of our full embodied self, our higher self.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 12:00

If you're ready for soul recovery, as a spiritual coach I can support your healing to help make real changes that will bring you a life of peace, happiness, connection and abundance. You can also work in smaller groups by taking a deep dive in a Zoom workshop or with me in person at a retreat or an event. Join others on the Soul Recovery Path once a month for the free Zoom support group or daily on the private Facebook page support group or daily on the private Facebook page. Visit the website recoveryoursoulnet to book coaching sessions with me or find all the information you need about soul recovery dates that are coming up and how to register for those groups and workshops To support the podcast and the community. Check the links in the show notes to make a small monthly donation or a one-time donation of your choice. That will make a huge impact to support this community and the soul recovery mission. Together we can do the work that will recover your soul, and that healing does not need a validation from anyone. That healing is for you to continue to claim on your own.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 13:08

And isn't it interesting that we want people to reflect to us that we're better? And I'll tell you what the reflection is. The reflection is how your life shows up. The reflection is how things begin to model out, the energy that's modeled out. That is the reflection. You will get it in real time, based on how you are handling a situation, how you're feeling present in a situation, and even if other people are still kind of off on their own thing, you recognize that the modeling is that it doesn't blow your mind like it used to. It doesn't completely put you off track like it used to. That's the modeling, that's the awareness. And then you start noticing that life starts to line up better for you and that things begin to show up in ways that seem like you would have asked for them to be. Like that. You meet somebody, you have some sort of interaction or conversation with somebody that leads to the next thing. That leads to the next thing and all of it is bringing to you the truth of who you are and your alignment, your wholeness, your fullness, because you're not in that place where you're looking for people to process what's going on inside of your head and needing them to validate for you that it's okay. So, closure coming to closure, which I think is very interesting, we want to have closure with people that there were difficult situations, and of course we do. Of course we do the more that we let go of even the thought that somebody else was guilty for something, the more we are opening ourself up to not have those stories run.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 15:23

And I'm thinking about for myself the relationships that I've had that have been difficult for me, that I went through as part of my learning experience, as part of my curriculum of life, and these are not relationships with people that I continue to be friends with. These are relationships with people that ended, and I can think of a couple just drawn to mind right away, which is they tend to be work situations that are coming to me and that they tend to be work situations that are coming to me and that there's this family that happens in work, a family system that almost is like that, that happens in work environments. Whether we like it or not, when you spend that much time with people, those relationships become very similar to some of the structures and the systems that we have within our own family in terms of our upbringing, our family of origin, and then maybe model some of the positive and dysfunctional places that we have in our own family systems at home. And if we're not conscientious of staying clean in our own energy around how we're participating in those family systems, we can get as dysfunctional in those systems as we did in our own families at home. Right, and I had always wanted to be in work environments where I could just totally be myself and that having deep human connection was really important to me. So I tend to go in pretty deep emotionally with the people that I work with and make very strong relationships. But it's interesting that of all those relationships, not very many of them have continued on in my life as continued friends. It's like those relationships are really deep while I'm there, while I'm in that environment and then as soon as I've left that environment, then the time and attention and it begins to fade.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 17:21

But I had conflict in my jobs. I had conflict in my jobs. There is some element of me that I've been looking at myself, at how I show up in my work. Situations that I can now see through my soul recovery work were patterns of those core wounds from being a little girl and from the hurts and the harms that I had where I needed to validate myself, that I pushed myself too far into being the boss or wanting to make everything work out for everybody, or wanting credit or gosh. I just had such a little part of me that needed something more than what was being given to me in those jobs. Because ultimately, we're looking at that part was me, that was part was me that was feeling inadequate. That part was me that was coming from the underbelly of my own pain, of my old belief systems. And now that I've had an opportunity to truly, truly do the soul recovery steps and to look, look, look, look at those patterns and those beliefs and how they helped me create the personality that I have, that I'm proud of, that I love, and let go of those underbelly pieces of me that have been this complex unfolding of all these old stories, all these old pain body stories, and this is what I'm talking about. I've done this work within myself. I've done this work through working with people who are helping me through the soul recovery journey and through my own process of releasing and letting go and truly spending time and energy of restructuring how I show up, how I connect to things, and profound, profound healings and awarenesses have come from this.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 19:24

But there's still a couple relationships in these work environments that were extra bristly, extra, extra bristly, and one in particular was the last place that I worked was another woman and it was a repeating pattern of a relationship that I'd had a number of times in different work environments. And so I'm showing up on my end and I'm bringing forth somebody who's going to show me, who's going to mirror to me these aspects that I needed to learn and grow from myself, and I had this great desire and wish at some point that she and I could get together and we could talk about it, that we could really come through as, as women, to have this conversation from our hearts about what happened and what we learned from it and how we could move through it and how we could have some closure around this very painful relationship for me and, I assume, for her. And then I realized that's for me, that's my ego that wants to have approval on her end, to hear her say I still like you, I still want to have you in my life, or you're important to me, or I see what you're saying, or all those things that. That that actual pain part of me wants and needs and was part of the process that created the dysfunction in the first place. I've run into her a couple of times and we've been friendly with each other, but it was very clear that there was no space, no door to walk through. That was opening for a deeper conversation, that we are just fine having light, smiling, kind words to each other, because we are kind human beings and we want the best for each other.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 21:37

But we don't have to have that closure conversation and this piece, I think, is so fascinating because we can get stuck in it. We can have that part of our pain that wants to attach, that says but if I don't have this conversation with this person who I feel harmed me, even if I'm going into the conversation to share from the place where I recognize my part, that I can't let it go. And the answer is that is not at all true. That is giving somebody else the power for you to be okay or not, which is what we're learning in soul recovery. How can I be okay? How can I actually be happy and joyful and free and work on my own experience, my own perceptions, my own ability to connect with what's in my head? All we have is our own thoughts and all they have is their own thoughts. There is no absolute truth because everything comes through our perception of how we choose to see it. So that part of me, the part of us that wants so much to have this union with somebody where we connect and we see it and we hear each other, is such a beautiful desire and it's a perfectly wonderful desire to have. So, knowing that in this 3D world, this conversation is not likely to take place I'm not going to say that door may never open, but it likely will not open.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 23:10

Energetically, I can spend time in my own healing, in my journal, speaking to her in kind ways, sharing from this loving, conscientious place, connecting on a soul level place connecting on a soul level and letting go of the need to have this tit for tat conversation, this opening heart conversation, this recognizing conversation, this approval conversation on both sides. And when I look at all the people that I've had work situations with or friendships with, where there's been some sort of rub, my main thing that I want to come out with is am I okay in my heart? Do I still have a pull that makes me feel upset? And what is that pull? And can I let go of the blame and the guilt and the desire for somebody else to be the one who hurt me and to recognize that I was hurt but there is no one to blame, that I can just be with my own hurt, that I can recognize that that felt unloving?

Rev Rachel Harrison: 24:30

And in these situations where we're processing with ourself and our higher power and we're slowing down our thoughts and we're changing our perceptions, we let go of this need for anyone else to give us validation for anything that we're feeling. And now, when I have any thought around this particular relationship that I was just talking about, or so many others where there was upset or there was complexity, I spend way more time sending them love, way more time wishing them well, way more time releasing those perceptions of pain, way more time letting those memories go. If we get to choose what we think and we get to choose what we repeat in our mind, what stories we repeat, what past chapters of our life we repeat, what am I going to repeat? I'm choosing what that is. I am not going to spend a whole bunch of time and energy on the stuff that didn't feel good. If I don't have to, I don't want to go into the room like I did with Rich, where we just bicker and spew at each other all of the yucky. I don't want to spew that in my head either. So when I can work on these relationships and we can let go of the need for somebody else to validate the process and closure of what's going on inside of us, our healing is our responsibility. How we choose to see it is our responsibility.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 26:31

And as you're working through your life, through the emotions, recognizing the patterns in which you show up, in your situations, in your relationships, and how you think and how you act, be gentle to yourself, be incredibly compassionate and kind to yourself, because this work is difficult work. There is so much in there that you are processing to let go and it's gripping so tightly. And your ego, which is this part of you that is not against you but is very reptilian, it's very rudimentary, it's very black and white. It wants so much to make sure that things are the way that it wants them to be. And you're opening up. You're actually using a different part of your mind. You're switching how your brain functions to a more executive system that can hold space for all of it, that can indeed let go, that doesn't need someone else to provide you with any approval for closure, that doesn't need anyone to approve of you in general at all.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 27:44

This is soul recovery. This is the power to be in all situations in this new way of being. And I'll tell you what you want some power. This is it Not letting other people determine your worth, not letting other people determine your healing. You choose, you decide, you own it, you claim it and, as always, if you want to work the soul recovery process, you can either do it with me, with one on one coaching. I've just begun to roll out being able to work the steps on your own on the website, so you can do each step as if you're with me on zoom, zoom and do. The first step is the one that's out now and I'm going to be rolling out all the rest of the steps along the way. This process of your healing is so profound, and to be able to have closure and to be able to see things in a new light without needing the other people to be part of it really allows you to have your power and allows you to be in your body and in your life in the way that you choose a spiritual path to a happy and healthy life. So recovery Until next time.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 29:04

Namaste, thank you for listening to the recover your soul podcast and if you loved what you heard here, Namaste and on this platform, you can choose $5, $15, or $25 a month to show what you want to support the show with. On both of these subscriber platforms is an entire catalog of back episodes intended to inspire and support you on your soul recovery journey. I really want to invite everybody to attend the free once a month, every first Monday of the month support group. This is on Zoom. Everyone is welcome to attend and by giving a like or a review and sharing this with your friends and family really helps us to share the soul recovery message with even more people. We are on social media. We are on all the platforms. I am on TikTok. You can listen to guided meditations by Rev Rachel Harrison on Insight Timer. Thank you for supporting the show. Thank you for being part of the community. To find out more about soul recovery and everything that's being offered, visit the website wwwrecoveryoursoulnet. Together, we can do the work that will recover your soul.