My Son Bodhi Harrison- A Story of Spirituality, Addiction and trying to find Life Balance at 23

Being an addict has been a hard journey.  Having addicted children has been painful too.  Al-Anon and Soul Recovery have taught me to turn the attention to myself and to focus on my personal recovery, and allow those around me to have their own experience. 
This episode is a conversation with my youngest adult Son, Bodhi Harrison.  It was so great to have him in town and I wanted to sit down and have him share what is going on in his life and his Soul Recovery. The first half of the episode is about his current spiritual journey and connection to Higher Power as he understands it.  The second half of the episode is a conversation about where he is currently in his addiction and his relationship with drinking and smoking pot, the choices he is making in his life at 23 years old, and trying to find life balance.  It is an honest and vulnerable conversation about a young person trying to make sense of a complex adult life.
If you want to learn more about Bodhi and see him on the Onewheel check him out on  his Instagram @Bodhiharrison  or with The Float Life where he is the Marketing Director and Rider on their YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/c/TheFloatLife

For more information about Rev. Rachel Harrison and Recover Your Soul- visit the website www.recoveryoursoul.net  use the

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This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.

Chapters

• 5:18 Bodhi and his Spiritual Journey
• 36:10 Bodhi, being 23 and his addiction journey

Transcript

Intro: 0:01

My name is Reverend Rachel Harrison and this is the recover your soul podcast, a spiritual path to a happy and healthy life. I started recovering your soul after having profound changes in my life. For my recovery of alcoholism, control addiction, and codependency. I was guided to share the tools and principles of spirituality and soul recovery to help others transform their lives as mine was transformed. For us to overcome external circumstances, we must first turn the attention to ourselves, focusing on interchange, outer positive results and our lives will follow. As a spiritual coach, I can support you on your path to make real changes that will bring you a life of peace, happiness, connection and abundance. Visit the website recover your soul.net to book coaching sessions, read the blog, listen to some of my original music, and subscribe to receive email updates. I think of recovering your soul as a community. Follow us on social media and join the private Facebook group to support each other and connect for an extra episode each week. And to support this podcast become a patreon member or subscribe on Apple podcasts. Together, we can do the work that will recover your soul.

Rachel Harrison: 1:26

This episode is an interview with my son Bodhi. I know you've heard lots about him if you've listened to the podcast before. And if you're new to the podcast, this is my youngest son, he's 23 years old. Both of my kids are apples that didn't fall far from the tree. They're both addicts. My husband and I are both addicts. And Bodhi was in town from California for a couple of days. So he sat down with me. It's interesting when I was editing the podcast, the experience that I had of listening to it back versus sitting with him in the room, and the awareness of the complexity of addiction. And that part of what we're talking about here in Seoul recovery is letting go of control of turning the attention to ourselves of our own journey and allowing other people to have their own journey. The first half of the episode is really Bodie talking about his spiritual journey, and he has his own take on it. And I think it's great that he can so clearly express how he feels on a spiritual level. He also is just going through a breakup and a lot of stress at work. So his heart is wide open. And he has a couple times where he's really overcome with a motion because he's just so raw and fresh. The second half of the episode is a whole other subject, I thought about cutting it in half and just decided to leave it as one full episode. So you could do this in two parts. The second half is him talking about his addiction, and how he is trying to slowly slowly decide for himself choose for himself a life that is without substances, it is not a life that he has. And again, as a parent, having found a recovery, we want our kids to find the recovery, we want them to have what we have when we have had a change in our life that is bringing us a profound joy and happiness. And we've let go of depression and the anxiety and the ups and down swings that addiction brings. But both of my boys have to go through their own experience of it. And I hope that what I can offer them is to see the work that I'm doing on myself, and that I love both my boys so much. And I am proud of the men that they are and they are so rich and everything that they're doing, and they are still on their journey of addiction. And that is not always an easy road to watch. So I hope that you'll enjoy this episode, I hope that it gives you some insight to my family dynamics, if you're learning about Tim Harrison, as we call ourselves and the complexity of our lives. And these two kids who came out of an alcoholic home who are also addicts, and our deep love and connection for each other. And this path that we're on of allowing each other to just be who we are, even when I listen back and listen to some of the truths that he still has a long way to go in terms of finding recovery in the way that I wish that I could see it. But I trust and know and believe that we all are on our own paths. And what I'm grateful for is that his spiritual life is full. And we know I know that soul recovery is about finding a spirit ritual center Finding Hope and finding faith in your spiritual self because that is the hole that will fill that empty space that often we fill with unhealthy behaviors and drugs and addiction. I hope you'll enjoy this episode. Welcome back to recover your soul. Thank you so much for joining me here today. I'm really excited because my son Bodie is in town Howdy, howdy. And He is gracious enough to sit out here in the art studio, the podcast studio and share some of his inspiration, strength and hope. If you've been listening to recover your soul for a little while, you know a lot about him because I talk about him a lot in our story. Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself body so maybe if those that don't know who you are, can learn who you are.

Bodhi Harrison: 5:52

Okay, quick intro of who I am. My name is Bodhi Nathaniel William Harrison originally born Nathaniel William Bodhi Harrison, my mother's mother, my grandma picked the name, Bodhi. And I think we all knew that that was the real one walking out the hospital. So I was called Bodhi my whole life but it was my middle name. So I got to rearrange. That's a fun story. Had to go to court for that or get on Social Security changed and then the office was closed. So that's me, that's my name. That's my alias and I am 23 years young. I grew up here where I am now in this home in Lewisville, Colorado but I now live in Northern California Sacramento to be specific. I moved out there for work. I am the marketing director for the leading parts and accessories company that upgrades one wheels. So my job is to ride around a self balancing futuristic electric hoverboard, make videos give people stoked and make our stuff look cool. Which you're very good at which I do a pretty good enough job at I'd still have my job and I got a raise recently so that probably means I'm doing all right.

Rachel Harrison: 7:03

Plus you were just listed just to toot your horn as your mom by officially by one wheel as the number two rider in the world

Bodhi Harrison: 7:12

Yeah, according to their their ranking their race rankings for this year. Not rider racer racer number two racer in their league this year. Yeah, which I guess whatever. That's cool. I want to film racing more than actually race anyways, but we're getting stuck on one of them. I grew up here in Colorado. Basically all I ever wanted to do was skate, go skateboarding, hang all my friends and flirt with girls. And then you know I grew up hanging out with mom and dad a lot spending a lot of time around them I'm very thankful for you know, our family our connection all the stuff we did together we went you know, went on adventures went on surf trips, went shredding. And then high school came around I was like got interested in cameras and photography from my buddy Tanner. Barkin like a childhood friend. Yep. And then in high school, I took a film photography class because he took that class and he took a picture of me skateboarding and I really wanted to take those pictures from my friends of them and give them to them. So I took the film photography class, completely fell in love with photography and cameras and capturing moments and composition and contrast and color balance and I just totally dove in. So then mix those together cameras and shredding went to college under the ski and snowboard business program at Colorado Mountain College in Steamboat Springs and experienced that had a good time I coached snowboarding I was the leader for the middle school program at the local skate Church and the local church. And I was an RA so it allowed me to be able to be a freelancer my second year of college first and second year first year is a little trickier. Second year I got my rent and my food paid for by being an RA so I was able to be a freelancer. So then that all concocted together. And then flash forward. A year after college my buddy Jeff called me up and was like, Hey man, how much do I have to pay you to come run my marketing here in Sacramento for the full life which is a dream job opportunity. So I snatched that up and cruise out Sacramento and so now I've been in Sacramento for the last two years

Rachel Harrison: 9:13

and PSC moved there and drove away about six days before the entire world shut down.

Bodhi Harrison: 9:19

Also that right up so I turned 21 and then moved to Sacramento. And I was like sick man. new life, new place new job. I'm 21 I can go drinking now and party with everybody I can actually go to the bars. And then three days after we rolled in Sacramento the whole world shut down. So that was cool, but it actually worked out you know, because it it made it so I didn't like dive into that whole 21 year old bar scene going partying every weekend and I just worked hardest shit and my work is filming and shredding and traveling and stuff. So it's what I like to do anyways. So when COVID came around, we just totally busted us and have since then elevated our company to an unthinkable level from where it was when I showed up no doubt, and have since then created kind of a lifestyle where every weekend I'm going somewhere different to go ride with people and hang out with people make videos. And so kind of like, at this point in my life, what who I am. And what I do is I just travel around in create beauty and tell people about Jesus and his story. And it makes me cry right now, because we had a very spiritual weekend in Arkansas, like two weeks ago, at this place called the great passion play where there's a massive statue of Jesus, I'm sorry, listeners, I'm just like my mama Carl's massive statue of Jesus, it's like 50 feet tall, you can look it up. It's called the great passion play. And it's so cool, because I've just been kind of plugged in to this, this niche in this community. And I have this level of respect with everybody. And this understanding of Jesus's message. And I've been able to tell people about it, it's been intense. That's I'm crying. Two weeks ago, like two people very close to me, were able to rap, like I was able to help them wrap their minds around the story of, of Jesus and the gospel and like, what my interpretation of it,

Rachel Harrison: 11:17

what I love about your spirituality, and we'll talk more about this because I'd love to deep dig deeper into it, which is people who have been listening to the podcast, know my story, I was raised Buddhist, my mom is Buddhist. And then I had a fairly traumatic younger experience with my grandmother who was doing the best that she could with what she felt like was right for her that she was a born again, Christian. And she was concerned for me, but it came like Baptists, too. I think she was Baptist, but I am actually not sure what she was. But it was fear that she was afraid there was something wrong with me, and with how I was being taught so but that didn't bring love to me. So I was fairly rejecting of Christianity. And then, when I met dad, Dad was a born again, Christian when I met him, and he was going to a fundamental Christian church. And he was the first Christian that I ever met, that was curious about Buddhism and didn't want to change me that didn't want to make me be different, right? And Jesus's teachings have always been really important to him. When we were going to the Unity Church, and you guys were going to the youth program there and for you, you found young life all on your own with your friends. Yeah, through school. And I remember when you first started going to young life like I was concerned, because I'm more metaphysical

Bodhi Harrison: 13:52

right you're a little worried I get brainwashed a little bit right shoved in the box

Rachel Harrison: 13:57

and into the into the fear part, you know, of it. So it's been fascinating to watch you on this journey. Because finding skate Church, which you can tell them what skate churches, finding skate church, and really, having your own spiritual path has been a fundamental piece of who you are, which is a thing that I think I'm grateful for that we do in our family, which is let each other find their way. So talk a little bit about that. Yeah,

Bodhi Harrison: 14:26

I agree. I'm super thankful for that. Because yeah, I think that's the problem with an air quoting right now of religion is it's so rigid and I've had the opportunity to grow up Unitarian, I guess what do you call it? No, Unity, Unity is different than unity. Okay, so I grew up in in the Unity Church, where from what my understanding was, is it's just, you know, it's the church of spirituality essentially. And then so I was able to grow up very open minded not like hey, this is this this is that this is what you need to do. This is what you need to believe that you're sitting if you're doing this like Paul a lot, like there's none of that it was all just Omani. Pay me home. Namaste, Peace be with you, like, very just loving and spiritual, very open, which is where I am now at again now, which is really cool. Because I was raised that way. And then trying to figure out my own path. I jumped into Christianity, because I could feel the truth there. I could feel that there was some truth but I could also feel that there was some untruth is which, which is what keeps everybody away. And so I think my interpretation through going getting an escape church and reading the Bible, and really trying to wrap my head around what Jesus came and tried to teach and what you know, the whole story of all that is and what are they trying to say? And I've been able to kind of create, create my own interpretation of it, you know, and from what I understand, like, there's been in my, in my eyes, there's the organization that translated the Bible was not exactly stand up. Folk, supposedly, from a book I read, it was one of the most corrupt organizations to ever exist. And you kind of just have to expect humans to just do shitty stuff, because that's just what we are. We're stuck in the mind. We're trying to control everything and make it the way we think it should be. And a lot of people have, I think used religion for that in the past. And so I read the Bible with a very open mind. And I go into biblical discussion and theological discussion with a very open mind. And I think just through the years of doing that, and seeing all the similarities, and all the religions, and all the teachings, and all the stuff, I've been able to kind of form this interpretation that I have, which is a realization that we are all we are all one part of the whole. And it says that in the Bible says we're all part of one body. We're all fully, deeply and unconditionally loved by the energy that gives all things power, there is nothing we could do to separate ourselves from God, there's nothing we could say, or do that would make God hate us, or disrespect us or not love us that God's awesome dude in the clouds, like, God is all things. And it's all about just love and creativity and connection, Jesus taught to love unconditionally, to forgive endlessly. He hung out with the prostitutes, he hung out with the tax collectors, he came, he who cast the first stone, the woman at the well, like Jesus's story was Love, unconditionally, connect with everything around you turn away from sin, don't do things that you know are bad for you. And that's the hardest one for all of us. And that's the one that will all have to work on forever. And I think people have been caught up with like, the whole sin thing, and the religion thing and the Jesus stuff. And people, it's just really hard for a lot of people to wrap their heads around it, or even just like, dive in and give it a chance. And so, I'm really so happy that I was able to grow up in the Unity Church, as your guys, child, and then go into the world and be put into escape church and into the church and be able to learn about that side of things. And then for my own beautiful interpretation of it, and along the way, learn to use my words and now I just get to travel all over the world and tell people that message is so cool. And I am so incredibly thankful for for my job and my opportunity. And I was just talking to you and dad earlier today. I was like, I mean, because you guys like I'm a creative Shredder, spiritual creative Shredder, like that's what you guys are you guys raised me to be me. But then you guys like Well, yeah, but you got to take the credit, you know, and you did the work. And there is that like I've, I've been I've just been hooked up left and right. But I also wake up every single day and put the best attitude I can on and work as hard as I possibly can.

Rachel Harrison: 18:21

Yeah. Which, which is heavy switches heavy and wonderful. Same Yeah,

Bodhi Harrison: 18:26

it's making me cry again, because it's scary. Yeah. You know, life is is big, and it's in it's scary. And it's confusing, and everybody's lost and in pain. And there's no there's no big like whiteboard on the sky that we can just, like, get the answers, right. And it's like this is for sure. It's all just a question. And it's scary. And it's weird, but through through constant action and through connection with spirit and through our, our connection with each other and our connections with the things that we love. Like that's what brings us back and that's a Connexus and, and I'm just focusing lately myself on thinking of the light. Speaking of the light, being a only a light worker, you know, not allowing myself to think the bad stuff or say the bad stuff. And that's just completely shifting my overall paradigm. You know, and it's, it's, it's been beautiful because you know, people look, I can come off as this spiritual shredder awesome, inspirational guy, and that's who I want to be. And that's how I try to be but I also am an addicted, broken, traumatized human being. You know, I'm very, I'm very flawed, and I'm just figuring it out. But, you know, I have hard days and I have good days. But my best days are the days that I wake up. I don't look at my phone. I meditate I breathe, I pray. And I go about my day, just presently, in that moment, with gratitude and Stoke and love and like what happens in front of me. And what happens inside of me is just pure love. And like just having that day would be heaven. But then the days I wake up, go straight to the phone, get a weird text or bad call. Take a bomber up too early in the day. Don't eat breakfast, forget to drink some water go to work, forget to say hey to everybody jump right into my shit. Look at my task list. It's a mile long, hell complete hell, complete hell. So it's like Jesus taught, he said Heaven and Hell is here. Now, the straight and narrow. And so I don't know, I'm just trying to try to live my life and pursue my career, but also take care of myself and take care of my mental and, and that's definitely been really helping me a lot lately. And I just want to go deeper down there and pursue that further. And then just keep learning stuff and giving it to everybody.

Rachel Harrison: 20:42

I love that you are 23 years old and you are thinking about and enriched in these ideas and these processes. And one of the things about this podcast, this is a spiritual podcast, recover your soul, and whatever spirit is for each one of you is what it is for you. And so we're not here to proselytize to any particular spiritual path, every single spiritual path, every single religion, the solution to suffering is connection with the divine, every single path. And so whatever that Divine is for you, I believe that we are all hear, we look different, we speak different, we have different languages, we have different cultures. And that the universal one is great enough to speak to all of us in the voice and the tone that we need to hear.

Bodhi Harrison: 21:36

And that touches me I was holding on a thought to follow you up with which is one of the things that really cracked me open up my pineal gland and took me out of my box. Because I was like, How did God speak to people before Jesus before the Bible? And then I was like, Well, the first thought was, well, Jesus speaks to me, because I like to think that Jesus was resurrected in his current, he's the one that matches consciousness energetically with God. And he was brought back, and he's within all of us, helping us get where he got. And so I like to think Jesus does talk to me, sometimes I do think some of the voices that come to my head is Jesus, and I'm like, Jesus talks to me in English, but he talks to Eduardo in Spanish. And then before he was able to come spread his message, there was humans for 1000s or millions of years, who knows, we don't we don't. And how to God speak to them. You know, it's like, now we have this real world example of this guy that came and just spoken in our language and was like, just connect to source connect everybody around you love deeply Express, stop getting held up on all this shit, get out of your head, get in now be good to each other. So we now have that. And other religions have had other figures like that on Sunday at ease for generations and generations. And that was just one of the things that really popped me open is like, there can't be a right or wrong. We are a part of God. And God is just learning to not listen, I'm trying to articulate this, basically, we are learning, we are learning and God is speaking to us, right. And like we try to hold on and things that we overcomplicate things, and we're like, okay, so it's like this, and it needs to be like this, let's put it in this book. And like, we'll go here, but it's just, it's so far past what our brains can even comprehend. So God just speaks to us in each of our own languages. And these, the tribes pop up, and they have their special dances and all these things. And then Christianity pops up in the Hinduism, and it's like, there's all these different things. And so I think I was just having a conversation with a girl last night and I'm kind of one of those typical people that somebody looks at, you know, across my hand, or the words I say that like, Oh, you're religious, like, No, I'm spiritual. I prefer you know, spiritual or religious. Because that's really the way I think of religion is like a box. When I think of spiritual is like Spirit, God is spirit. Everything is spirit, energy spirit. Like it's all we're all made of, like little atoms and energies and stuff. And it's like when you see smoke in the air that's like you're you're getting a visual representation of what's going on around us. Like there's air. Everything's all just one thing, like, but it's just different densities and molecules and different things.

Rachel Harrison: 24:01

What I love about all of the vibrational is the physics and the reality that we see this cup we're sitting in these chairs, we're drinking these liquids but when you actually go down into the, the atom structures, how nebulous and strange those are, you know, and how our brains are and we're, it's miracle It's a miracle that all of this exists. And yet it's so easy to get caught up in the heaviness like your description of waking up and going right into the ego world the life world the meet the challenges world the meet people's needs world. And, you know, one of the things for you is you grew up in an alcoholic home or you your role in our family was to be the peacemaker. You were the one that kind of fixed all of us. We had the brother that was the quote unquote, Problem Child

Bodhi Harrison: 25:00

of chaos, the agent of chaos.

Rachel Harrison: 25:03

We had an intense dad we had a overly triangulating trying to fix everything mom and then you came along and you were the...

Bodhi Harrison: 25:12

...the lying Peacekeeper, you've heard the lying Peacekeeper lied about everything. Oh my god, keep it all I had the right intention, I guess. But I just would lie I wouldn't. I would hide things that was my line. I would hide things because I didn't think I didn't want to add to the pot. Right? And I didn't want to create the fights. I've seen the fights being created and I was like fuck that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna I'm gonna do everything I can to not have to have him but then you can only carry on lies for so long, especially when you have an ADHD brain like mine where tons of RAM not a lot of storage. So you'll get caught up in your lies quickly and then and then it's the thing plus the line and then that was that was hard but I was also the Peacekeeper yeah and I had to learn I learned how to watch everyone fight. Listen to each person. What do they all say? Okay, and let it calm down and then go to the other people until the other people will do the personal thing and be like this is we're all saying the same thing. We're just saying it differently. So where he's coming from this where he she's coming from you hear him, let's come on, let's come together, let's all sit down, let's talk and like, that was hard. And in for time, it was a trauma. And it caused me to let people walk all over me, I wouldn't stand up for myself, because I did it in the home and I did it in life, I didn't want to, I don't want to do or say anything that would hurt people or make people feel bad or add stress to their life, you know, and it was very unhealthy for a long time. But now I'm learning to, to see it and face it and use it as a tool, right? And understand, like, Okay, what I want to say right now, this truth that I want to speak right now is going to hurt this person's feelings, because they just gave me this video. And I just want I know that a couple of these changes made will make it way better. But I know if I tell them that they're really proud of it right now. And I know they want to be done with it, and it's going to hurt their feelings, and it's going to pull them out. It's gonna piss them off. If I tell them these notes and tell them to go back in the past, I'd be like, Alright, whatever. It's good enough, you know, like, let's just like, let it go. Now I know, okay, this is worth saying, is this going to be constructive? Like, will it hurt him at first, but then ultimately build them up? Yes. Okay, so love. I'm just learning how to how to a great Peacekeeper already. But now I'm learning how to be my own peacekeeper. Because I would like myself on fire to warm everybody else up. That's so

Rachel Harrison: 27:34

important and powerful. And listening to you tell that story. What it made me think of again, is the the coin, there's always two sides to every coin. There's the side. That's the the trauma of the stress of having your life where everybody's fighting all the time. And you're trying to figure out how you're going to help people see each other's perspectives. And there's the ability to see other people's perspectives. And the ability to make decisions about how you're going to speak to people in a way that lets them see different perspectives, because you can see the different perspectives.

Bodhi Harrison: 28:14

Yep.

Rachel Harrison: 28:15

So that's a that's a good

Bodhi Harrison: 28:16

key. I was just having a conversation with this girl last night. I was hanging out with a buddy of mine. And he took me to meet up with one of his co workers. And the conversation started off because she heard it was she was like, Oh, wow. So you're very you're very religious, huh? Because she was just hearing me talk and see in the cross tattooed on my hand. And I was like, No, I consider myself like highly spiritual, but I am kind of religious. You know, I love Jesus, I believe in his story itself. And then we started having this conversation. And then it got to a point where I was like, Oh, this chicks Catholic, and she's just gonna fight me. She was just questioning everything, like making me explain myself. And I was like, is she trying to get me like, caught up in my words and, and like exposed that I'm saying I'm spiritual, but I'm just some hippie doing drugs in denial or something like that. And she was kind of do look like a hippie, right? No, I don't, I am a hippie. I'm a psychedelic cowboy. And I was like, You know what, actually, I don't think I want to have this conversation with you right now. I think it's getting a little a little hifi. It seems like maybe you're pretty strong in your Catholic beliefs. And she's like, No, no, no, no, that's not it. I was just, I just wanted to kind of pick and learn and know more. And we like, hit that crossroads. And like, with love, we kind of checked each other. We're like, do we want to have this talk? Can we meet on level ground and talk to each other, and then we jump right back in the conversation, ended up having a great conversation, and then ended with her talking about how she's in poli sci and law, and how communication is so important. And the most important part of communication is being able to have your opinions, and somebody else have their opinions and be able to to not say you're wrong, I'm right, right, and be able to come to an understanding between the two and make decisions together. And that's like, everything. And I was thinking in that moment. Damn, I'm glad our life was so chaotic when I was a kid, because I'm good at that

Rachel Harrison: 30:07

you are good at it,

Bodhi Harrison: 30:08

I had to learn it. You know, I was forced to learn it because our family needed that. We've all come out on the other side, so much stronger. And we've all grown so much from that because of our awareness and our love and our connection with spirit and our connection with each other. But it you know, it was chaos. It was tough. It was hard. It was tough. When people tell they're like childhood trauma stories, that's mine. And I'm like, Yeah, me and my family was always fighting it, you know? And then now it's like, I don't tell that like that anymore. It's like,

Rachel Harrison: 30:33

what do you say? No,

Bodhi Harrison: 30:35

I say that I was I just had the most awesome COMMUNICATIONS TRAINING growing up.

Rachel Harrison: 30:42

Hysterical I had the most awesome communications training. It's all about perspective, part

Bodhi Harrison: 30:49

of a group of humans trying to figure it out. And I was lucky to have an awareness at a young age and just start studying. I don't know I that's like, the best way to put it. I just feel like

Rachel Harrison: 30:58

you've always been an experiential learner. You know, you're you're here in the house. We've been here for one day and reminds me so much of your growing up here because you've gotten YouTube on to learning something, and you had YouTube on and we're learning something you said, you went to University of YouTube, you were always, always always wanting to learn something I have to be

Bodhi Harrison: 31:21

learning. Like, I can't stand sitting around, like even meditating, is learning. That's some sitting around, I love to do, because that's training my mind, connecting with myself, further distinguishing my mind from my spirit, like, that's good. But when it comes to like, I cannot just sit around, and like, you know, just smoke weed and play video games that just sit around and scroll on my phone for like, hours and hours and hours. Like sometimes I end up doing it because I'm so exhausted, from working so hard. It's like, okay, I have to force myself to take a day. But even when I'm in that day, and in that moment, there's a little thing in the back of my head that's like, you know, you can be doing something you can at least be watching. Like, that's almost why I almost always have videos on is like, if I don't have the energy or the time to actually commit to a whole project or work on something I just like, let's learn some, you know, like, let's make good use of our time.

Rachel Harrison: 32:11

You are so your dad's son. He's always wanting to be pushing himself to, to excel more, which is interesting, because I think that it's, again, on the sides of the coin. Go ahead and you

Bodhi Harrison: 32:26

thought, okay, so I think it's because we're here to evolve our spirit, right? We can get stuck and just give our mind stuff that it wants, like drugs and dopamine and stuff like that. We're here to evolve our spirit. So when we evolve our mind, it gives us more opportunities for our spirit to then be involved because you you're like, Okay, I want to learn about this, you start learning about that. And you get this information, you find out there's this event, and then you're like, Okay, you go you go to this event, you meet this person, you start this project. Next thing you know, on that project, every project that I've ever done is like evolved my spirit, tenfold. learning things leads to projects, learning like evolving your mind leads to evolving your spirit. And if

Rachel Harrison: 33:06

you let yourself be driven from the spiritual side, I believe if you let yourself be driven from the spiritual side, then that's more of being divinely guided versus ego guidance. And then you have those moments where you connect with people or something miraculous happens. I mean, your your whole life story is a very fascinating connection of one thing to the next thing to a whole lot. And because you've been open even with everything that's happened in your life, you've always been open and curious about other people. And one of the things in the one will industry that is said about you, that gives me the most pride it is not whether you one or not, it's the human being that you show up to be, and that people talk about your character. And that's my pride for you.

Bodhi Harrison: 33:58

I think that's the most important part. It's like, anybody can learn a skill doesn't matter. We're all innately completely the same, like you can go out. And if you want to be a pro golfer, like it might be really hard. And you might not do it till you're like 50 because it took so damn long to get there. But anybody can learn a skill. It's like, I feel like it's so much more important to find yourself and learn to love yourself. A lot of emotion, your character. Yeah. And that's, like I said, like, life is scary. That's like, every day I wake up and I wake up in a state of anxiety usually, there's no fear and anxiousness I have to work through every day. But it's alright, another opportunity to live you get up and you continue to just be the best version of yourself. You can be like, I've just focused so heavily on love and forgiveness and acceptance and Stoke and stuff and then it's just innately built his character in me like I can't I can't say things to people, it'll hurt them potentially. I don't fight with people. I don't shit talk people. I I just want to do the best for everybody around me. And I think it's just because I'm so terrified of life that I just wake up every day and love so fucking hard.

Rachel Harrison: 35:12

When you and your brother and me all have anxiety, so

Bodhi Harrison: 35:18

sorry, listeners. I'm going through a pretty heavy life transition right now. And I have a ton of bottled up emotions not bottled up, but I'm allowed emotion. And so some of the stuff is triggering me. I apologize, everybody. Crying is good, though. That just sounds annoying. never apologize

Rachel Harrison: 35:35

for having an open heart. never apologize for having open heart. What are you saying? So we're talking about anxiety. So you know, I had a podcast that was about anxiety and my anxiety is decreased 90% since I quit drinking, and I started doing spiritual work, and to be 100% Honest since you guys moved to California. So I think that I have to be completely transparent in the truth that part of all of our Dynamics The four of us all together all the time, not having it in my face all the time has helped. But for you for your anxiety, I think that everybody has this pressure now that we didn't have in the same way, in the past. Can you describe a little bit about what that is? And, and how you've how you're working on managing it?

Bodhi Harrison: 36:28

Yeah, I think anxiety, to me is just over thought, you know, it's like your mind is just like, you're just getting all these thoughts that you don't want. And am I gnarliest, like I had, the last two years was the most intense season of anxiety in my entire life. Because it was work because it was work and personal, and I didn't know where my anxiety was coming from. And it was gnarly. It was just it was because of the transitional process of me going from a kid to an adult, you know, and like going through moving away from home and finding my own and settling into my job and finding my confidence and my friends. And it was really gnarly. And it was just, it was perpetuated definitely by my drinking my alcoholism, and my smoking because I feel like, you know, anxiety and depression is a problem of the mind. And it's like a thread that needs to be followed and untied is kind of how I feel. And when we, we get to these points on the thread that are really hard. And it's you have to, like there's certain things you have to just like face almost, and walk through and acknowledge and allow your spirit to process but we get to that crossroads. And it's stressful, and it's hard. It's like fuck, I just, I just wanted, I just want to drink, I just, you know, I just want to drink smoke a little some. And the drinking just made me forget that it was going on, right. And that's what it does. And that's the beauty of it for somebody will but then you to the next day, it didn't go anywhere. And then anything that happens after that just adds to it,

Rachel Harrison: 37:59

and you feel and you're exhausted and depleted and then tired.

Bodhi Harrison: 38:04

And we all know the effects of alcohol, it's like that temporary help for furthering down the hole. And it's weird, because, like I mentioned, I'm going through something like kind of personal drama life with friends and girls and all that stuff. And partying was a big part of the partying was a huge part of that. And the drinking, it never helped. And it always made it so much worse. And lately, that whole thing has gone down. And it's forced me as brought in awareness to me that made me be like, you know, I'm putting my eggs in the wrong baskets, like I need to be fully focused on God, and fully focused on taking care of myself and my spirit because I'm trying to do all these things. And I just feel bad and I'm scared in my head. I'm tired and my body hurts. And so as soon as I started focusing on meditation and journaling, and truly working on being mindful through the day, and caring for my spirit and caring for God and connecting and just going like super hard for my, my alcohol appetite, it's like going, like I don't even want to drink anymore. Because when I drink, I feel it separate my mind from my spirit. And that's what they say they said in like Ancient Alchemy is that alcoholic drinking alcohol separates the spirit from the mind. And that's why when we get wasted, we we say mean stuff. And we do dumb stuff. And we hit people and hurt people, because it's just our mind trying to operate and our mind cannot operate without God. Like we cannot operate without love. Because we'll just hit each other and hurt each other and hurt ourselves and think bad stuff. It's like, you get deep enough into the alcohol and spirits gone. You're just your mind. Like God's not there to help you anymore.

Rachel Harrison: 39:43

And all you want is more of more of that because that's it. That's a source now it's a demon. Exactly. And so for you and then for you smoking pot, because you still smoke pot, I still smoke. So what is what does that do for you? And where's that feel for you right now?

Bodhi Harrison: 39:59

Well, everything, everything affects everybody differently. So with that being said, alcohol may affect people differently. For me, we does two things. It makes me tired and slyly demotivated and just kind of sleepy. For me, with most strains, like really good, like really high quality stuff doesn't get to me, but most things will say something. But it also slows my brain down. And like brings me way more present. And it makes it easier for me to sit there and be the observer and not be the monkey or be the donkey helps me sit on my donkey. Because it just yeah, like just just like slows everything down in my brain almost feels like there's like three engines running at once to shooting information at me. And sometimes I can take like a fidget or music or a video and it occupies one of them or two of them and I'm able to kind of focus the other one. But for the most part, like a lot of times my brain is just like it's jumbling stuff around you know, and it's processing spiritual stuff, but it's also processing work stuff, but it's also observing things around me and it's just like can be so overwhelming and I can't focus on things and I can't pay attention to people it's ADHD. It's hyperactive, yours super ad. It's just gnarly. I'll make it do a whole day and barely get anything done. But when I smoke, it slows it on air. And it just makes it so I can go like one thing to the next and just hear that hear one of them, you know, just focus on one of them. Okay, and listen to him, like talk to it,

Rachel Harrison: 41:26

and how is it not benefiting you? So it's one of those things that you said it

Bodhi Harrison: 41:30

makes me tired and demotivated and sleepy and stuff. And so I've had this realization that drugs are signposts back there to show me where my brain can get. And then through spirituality through spiritual alchemy through a vibrational mind change, mind state change, renewing my mind practicing all that stuff. I can get to those states on my own or close to the states get to the parts of those states that I shouldn't be getting to scrub caught on. I can get there on my own. Now, what does alcohol do for you, it loosens you up. You know, you don't think it's hard. But everything around you, you're able to kind of dive and dance and chat with people and be a little more fearless. But that don't need the drinks for that anymore done nicotine. What does that do? It focuses you it sharpens up your mind. It gives you something to like fiddle with. And it gives you a break away from your work. I can do all that without that script, don't need it any more weed that calms me down, it centers me brings me into the moment, it makes me feel really good. I don't know I don't need it for that. And I know within the next year or two I can for sure get to a place where I can get there on my own. And so now I'm on this journey right now of like, knowing that through spiritual alchemy, and through spiritual practice, I can get all those mind states or like get towards those mind states without all the drugs. So my goal is to just rely on water and food and God and spirituality just by going one by one and getting rid of the substances. Because anything you do, you do it enough and it loses its magic, it loses its effect. You either have to take breaks from it or stop it entirely and go to something else. It's like we start putting stuff in our body, our body will build a tolerance to it eventually. And then that'll just it becomes

Rachel Harrison: 43:01

the solution. It was the solution for a minute, and then it quits being the solution.

Bodhi Harrison: 43:05

I've got a buddy right now that's using cocaine to just stay on his flatline. So scary. Yeah, it's tough. And no, you can, it's easy to find that one drug where you're like, Oh, I like this, I like feeling this way. And that's how I get there. Okay,

Rachel Harrison: 43:18

I'm gonna just keep calling this. So you're, you're in a high energy human being, and you're a young person, having people who might have kids who are in the same boat as me. I didn't get sober till I was 48 years old. So for me, I have this recognition that it's ridiculous for me to be wanting for you guys, as young people, what I have found for myself and my middle my middle life. And yet, I'm grateful that neither one of you have completely gone off the rails, and you could still possible. And you know, both of you are doing your lives on your own, you're fully self supporting through your own contributions, you're making your own mistakes, you fall down, you get back up, you're learning as a young person out there looking at friends who are out there, party in their ass off, you know, what do you say to other parents? What do you say to people who are who are worried because for me, I listen to these conversations with you. And I trust that you're going to make good choices down the road. But I also know that you are an addict. And it is not going to be an easy path nor something that you're going to be able to just flip a switch and never look back.

Bodhi Harrison: 44:35

Right. Yeah, I think, for me, the awareness I found is that like, I think you know, 20 Till your 20s and your 30s. Drinking is in can be a good thing with its intended use, which is somebody has a birthday, or it's New Year's or the grand opening, or there's a film release. Yeah, it's not

Rachel Harrison: 44:59

necessarily bad to like, a couple drinks, it's let loose if it's

Bodhi Harrison: 45:02

time to fucking party and you want to like let go and bump the music and rock your head around all night. I think that's fantastic. But I think when that becomes your only source of fulfillment, or one of your main ones, and that becomes every Friday, every Saturday, sometimes on Tuesdays, maybe even Thursday, that's when it becomes a problem because the magic of that moment goes away. Then that's just your thing. Like think about it like a tennis player. And that's the thing is like parents, I think people get worried, which for some people, there's very necessary worry. But I think a lot of parents get worried about their kids, like all they're doing is just going out and hanging out and drinking. It's like, yeah, that's the most 20 or 30 year olds do. So that's kind of one of the only things there is to do. Obviously, there's like tons of people doing tons of fun stuff all the time. But for a lot of people like that's their source of fun. That's their thing. That's me my going skateboarding is somebody isn't gonna put their homies grab a box of a box of beers in a bottle and go into partying somewhere like it. It is a thing to do but then it becomes the center. It becomes the focus addiction is the narrowing of the things that bring you joy. All right. And so I think what I would suggest is to create an example and an awareness of moderation. Right? Because like, that's what I'm learning is moderation is, is everything. I talk to a doctor, and they're like, I'm like, rebels bad for you, right? And they're like, Well, no, it's better if you're drinking every day. But if you have one every now and then I would, I could say, confidently, it's not bad for you. What is this all about moderation. Like, for me, I'm I, I've lost an appetite for alcohol. But if I'm gonna, you know, but you're not such sober, it's New Year's Eve, and it's time to turn up, start off, you know, but I'm not, I'm not getting to the end of my day stressed. Going for the beer, I'm getting the end of a stress and down and breathing, going outside and going for a one wheel ride. And so I think for the people growing up my age, I think the thing that's so important is work, play, balance, work, play, balance, work, play balance. And like, if there's parents listening, use me an example for your kids like, looking at Bodie. He travels, he parties all the time, but he also works his ass off. And it's like, if you're just partying and not working or pushing towards your path, then it can become unhealthy. But I think if you can help your kids find their purpose and their path, their passion, you know, not us have super stable life, like something that fulfills them and brings them joy. And if they're able to have that passion, and work towards it, and then also have the partying, that's where it can, it maybe can have a healthy balance. And we talked about this all the time. When we're addicts, it's like, the ultimate dream is finding that balance. And I don't know if we ever fully will,

Rachel Harrison: 47:41

but just having an awareness and a desire to try to lean towards that direction.

Bodhi Harrison: 47:46

And that's what's happened with me is like, I've been leading this way, since I was 19. I knew I was like, I don't want to be stuck to the drugs. I don't want to be like a party, you got to try when you were going to college too. And so it's taken me a long time just with awareness and intention and stuff to get to get where I'm at. And nobody forced me there. Not even God, the universe wasn't just pounding me down and trying to get me you know, in the right place. alcohol involved things happen, which you know, are definitely signposts of like, Hey, you push a

Rachel Harrison: 48:19

noose. And we were talking earlier, you grew up with parents that were addicts and and yet, your markers that you have had inflicted change upon you are more your own experiences out in the world of your own relationships, your own friends, your own things, even though you grew up watching parents that drink and fight you to walk out the house and say, Well, I'm never doing that again.

Bodhi Harrison: 48:45

No, because in that, and that's what I'm saying to you in that conversation is I don't think we knew it was necessarily from the alcohol. I think we had to experience alcoholism in our own mind, and body and spirit to realize that's where a lot of that came from. Right. And I didn't realize that until I had my alcoholism, Fuck my life up, right? And I was like, oh, oh,

Rachel Harrison: 49:05

that's what that

Bodhi Harrison: 49:06

that's what that was. You know, so it's good man. So I to answer the question, I think having an awareness of moderation. And a want for discipline, in that sense, is super key, because then that makes it so when you do party, when you do have those times, it doesn't have to be super infrequent, you know, but when you do have those times, they're better, they're more special. And then aside from that, you're also pursuing this truly fulfilling thing. When I don't have anything that I feel like is truly fulfilling in my life, a project a passion, or a purpose. That's when I fall away, because I just have all this energy and all this, like ideas and dishes not pointing anywhere. And so I have to stuff it with alcohol and weed, you know, right. And as I'm just pursuing peace in pursuing presence, and pursuing clarity and pursuing God, all the stuff I don't need is just falling away. And my life is just like simplifying. And my mind is just like clearing and I'm just like letting go of a lot of stuff. I've done it in this podcast a few times. Bible Christ sessions, thank you for hanging with me all. But yeah, it's a wild journey. And

Rachel Harrison: 50:18

as your parent to watch you guys go through this and to be in a healthier place myself, where I'm, I think I'm better than I used to be at just letting you have your experience and not immediately trying to jump in with all of my bazillion suggestions or what you should or shouldn't do. I hope you feel supported by us in the way that would that we want because I've taken a major step back in not trying to be super involved in what's going on with you and let you have your own experience and even sitting here listening. It's hard to watch your child be in pain, and yet watching you do it and walk through it yourself. The strength that comes out of the other side is where I feel the pride.

Bodhi Harrison: 51:06

Yeah. And I think that's the other thing is that you have, you have to like experience stuff, or to really set in and be fully comprehended. And also, like, there's things people have told me that didn't set in for years. Because it takes such a concept that it takes our spirit that long to fully realize it was all just such a crazy concept to me. So I don't know given given time is just key. Time is so so key.

Rachel Harrison: 51:33

Well, thank you for your time today. vody. And sharing yourself. I'm so grateful for your being here with us and sharing your heart and absolutely, being a light in the world and allowing me to be me and always supporting me and who I am to.

Bodhi Harrison: 51:50

Yes, ma'am. And thank you listeners for supporting this podcast, I hope some of our words were able to spark a thought, or an inspiration. Or maybe just give me a little bit of curiosity. My mum was beautiful, wonderful listeners. Just remember that you are loved. They were all on this path. And we're all walking each other home. And every single one of those other people we see out around us, his family, you know, and we have to look past that initial judgment and find the love and, and just connect and know that we love you that God loves you and that the world can either be very dark and scary place or it can be a very bright, beautiful and creative place. And let's continue to fight the good fight and be warriors and light.

Rachel Harrison: 52:33

Well said, bodhi, thank you. Love y'all. I love you Bodhi and I love all the listeners. And I'm so grateful that we get to spend this time together. Until next time, nameste.

Outro: 52:46

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