Awareness: The First Step in Healing Codependency in Soul Recovery Inspired from 'The Language of Letting Go'

Awareness is the first step to change. In this episode, we dive deep into the power of awareness as a cornerstone of the Soul Recovery process. Inspired by the November 25th reading from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, we reflect on how awareness allows us to step back from fear and control, preparing us for growth and transformation.

As we approach the holiday season—a time often filled with old patterns, family dynamics, and the desire for perfection—this episode offers tools to help you stay grounded, mindful, and aligned with your higher self. Together, we’ll explore the cycle of awareness, acceptance, and change, discovering how to reclaim your power and let go of the need to fix or control those around you.

Join me as we reflect on how Soul Recovery provides the spiritual strength and clarity to navigate life's complexities with grace and authenticity. Whether you're spending the holidays with family, friends, or simply holding space for yourself, this episode is a loving reminder to honor your own journey.

Join me IN PERSON on April 13th in Sacramento California for an all day retreat to deepen your Soul Recovery Process. Learn more on the website! 

Join Rev. Rachel for an upcoming Soul Recovery workshop or retreat—an opportunity to deepen your healing, release old patterns, and reconnect with your true self. Learn more and register at https://www.recoveryoursoul.net/inperson

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.

Chapters

• 0:00 Awareness and Soul Recovery
• 6:22 The Power of Awareness and Change
• 14:42 Navigating Awareness and Inner Power
• 28:41 Join the Recovery Your Soul Community

Transcript

Rev Rachel Harrison: 1:02

Awareness is how life, the universe and our higher power gets our attention and prepares us for change. This is a line from the Language of Letting Go. Daily Meditations on Codependency by Melanie Beatty. For today, november 25th, 2024, the day this is airing, and this reading around awareness is such a beautiful way for us to talk about soul recovery, especially as we come into the holiday season. As we move into awareness, we actually begin to take our power back and use the soul recovery tools to learn how to be okay even if the people and the situations around us don't feel okay. Enjoy the episode. Enjoy the episode.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 1:47

Welcome to the Recover your Soul podcast a spiritual path to a happy and healthy life. My name is Reverend Rachel Harrison. I started Recover your Soul after having profound changes in my life, from my recovery of alcoholism, codependency and control addiction. I was guided to share the tools and principles of spirituality and soul recovery to help others transform their lives, as mine was transformed. For us to overcome external circumstances, we need to turn the attention to ourselves, focusing on our inner change and healing. Positive results in our lives will follow.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 2:28

Welcome to the Recovery Soul podcast and community. I'm Rev Rachel and I am just. I always say this. I know I always say this, but I just am so honored to be here with you today. I'm so grateful because my journey that I've been on that I can't believe I'm coming up on seven years of sobriety. It just seems nuts, but it's not seven years of sobriety from not drinking, it's seven years of soul recovery, of truly stepping into a new way of being, of letting go of codependency, of releasing the people-pleasing that had such a grip on me, of this level of dissatisfaction and upset and suffering that I had in my life around trying to fix everybody else, trying to make it all be different so I could finally be okay. If they can be okay, I can be okay, and that was just making me crazy. So, as we move into the holidays and this episode is going to come right before Thanksgiving I thought let's look into some texts that are also part of my spiritual journey around codependency. We've got family coming into town, we've got the desire to make everything be perfect, we want to make sure that everything is smooth and no one gets upset, and we are going to potentially be moving into some old behaviors and old patterns, and so I wanted to really support you in that. How can I give you some spiritual food to fill up your buckets I like to call? I always think of them as buckets that have holes and people put holes and then the energy that you have falls out. But we're going to refill that energy and make it so that you have something to stand on, to be able to have this week be smooth and easy, regardless of what's happening on the outside. Smooth and easy on the inside. So I wanted to move back into the language of letting go.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 4:23

Daily Meditations on Codependency by Melody Beatty from Codependent no More. And if you've picked up this daily reader, it's a really good one. So every day, just like in Hope for Today or the other readers, it gives you an opportunity to take a look at what you might need that day to work on. And so I'm picking up November 25th, because that's the day that this is airing in 2024. And it was awareness, and I thought that's so perfect because awareness is such an important part of soul recovery. So I'm going to read from this reader and then we will reflect on it in the soul recovery process and how you can use these tools to really step more thoroughly into your wholeness. So, november 25th Awareness from the Language of Letting Go.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 5:14

Daily Meditations on Codependency by Melody Beatty. It says when we first become aware of a problem, a situation or a feeling, we may react with anxiety or fear. There is no need to fear awareness, no need. What I love about this right away is she's just talking about that first moment when it comes into our body. That's awareness, this feeling, this situation, this worry, this problem that we think we need to fix, and there's no worry or fear that needs to come from the awareness. Right, it isn't even the thing, it's just how we're thinking about it. So she says awareness is the first step towards positive change and growth. It's the first step towards solving the problem or getting the need met, the first step towards positive change and growth. It's the first step towards solving the problem or getting the need met, the first step towards the future. It's how we focus on the next lesson Awareness is how life, the universe and our higher power gets our attention to prepare us for change.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 6:23

I'm going to read that again Awareness, the moment that you're seeing something. Awareness is how life, the universe, our higher power get our attention to prepare us for change. The process of becoming changed begins with awareness, awareness, acceptance and change. That's the cycle. We can accept the temporary discomfort from awareness because that's how we were moved to a better place. We can accept the temporary discomfort because we can trust God. You've replaced whatever you want with that good spirit love, universe, higher power, whatever. We can accept the temporary discomfort because we can trust spirit and ourselves, really feel this real, amazing truth.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 7:14

That's saying awareness, this feeling that we have, is actually how we are given a marker that says, ah, something's coming. And what we're always in reaction to is I don't want that. I don always in reaction to is I don't want that, I don't want that to come, I don't like that feeling, I don't like that situation, I don't like what that person is saying, I don't like it. And ultimately, when we do that, we are putting ourselves in a desire to want it to be different. We're in the control, we're in the dissatisfaction, we're in the peace where, if it was just something else, then would we be okay. Well, it isn't something else, it is this. It is this and change is so fascinating because we don't want change, we want predictability, we want certainty. No-transcript. I think I've said this before, but I read that the Bible has do not fear over 400 times. Do not fear. There's always change.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 8:31

Buddhism talks all the time about how it's always changing, that our desire for it to not change is the source of our suffering. So this concept around just having the awareness that this is actually how the universe sort of touches your shoulder and says I just want to prepare you for something that's coming, and instead of us just freaking out and going down the spiral of what that is, what if you just go? Oh, okay, tell me more. Let me be curious. Curiosity over fear, curiosity over fear. She has an affirmation and it says today I will be grateful for any awareness I encounter. I will display gratitude, peace and dignity when life gets my attention. I will remember that it's okay to accept the temporary discomfort from awareness because I can trust that it's my higher power moving me forward.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 9:27

What a beautiful reminder going into the holiday season, because I think that when we get into these situations with family members and friends, it's like herding cats, right? Like you think that in your mind, you have a way that you want it to play out and, in general, the way that you want it to play out doesn't include somebody showing up and being drunk, or it doesn't include someone being uncomfortable or in a really pissy mood or something going wrong with the food or the timing not working out or something happening, but generally that's what happens. Generally there is some snafu of some kind that happens. And if we look back on our lives, what I think is so interesting is the stories we generally tell about our lives are the ones that have more color to them. They're the places where something happened, where there was a mishap. They're the places where something happened, where there was a mishap, where it didn't go as planned. But we want even those things to be controlled. We want them to be sort of sweet and easy and funny instead of painful. But ultimately, we're the ones in our own mind that determine and decide how it's going to feel for us. And decide how it's going to feel for us, and awareness, like she so beautifully reminds us, is just us seeing it to be aware.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 10:54

The new Nine Steps to Soul Recovery includes the first new step, which is ready for awakening, and it says become aware that your dissatisfaction and suffering is caused by your current perceptions, beliefs, patterns and stories and acknowledge the need for change. Understand that this awareness is the first step towards awakening and transformation, awareness. Awareness doesn't mean you have to change it or fix it. It just means you begin to see it. Awareness just means you open your eyes and so much of our life is around not having ourselves or others be uncomfortable God forbid someone feels uncomfortable.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 11:40

I would do anything in the world to make sure that no one is uncomfortable and ultimately, that discomfort is what pushes us up against the wall enough to be willing to change. So when we are keeping people from that discomfort, we're actually providing a situation where they're in a little safe harbor. We'll make a little safe harbor for them. Well, they need to have the full experience to want to do something different if they so choose. If they so choose, are you ready to step into your soul recovery? Well, I am here to support you as your spiritual coach. Visit the website to book one-on-one coaching sessions with me as we transform your life through working the nine steps of soul recovery. You can also choose to work the steps on your own through the modules at your own pace.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 13:42

I'm excited to also be announcing that there are retreats every year, both in Colorado and other places in the country, workshops and events, and I hope that you also will join us the first Monday of every month from 6 to 7pm Mountain Standard Time for the free Zoom support group. This is an amazing place for us to connect, learn and share our stories. And don't forget to join the private Facebook group for soul recovery, inspiration, connection, answering each other's questions and giving shout outs. I thank you for supporting this podcast, either by being a Patreon member, apple podcast subscriber and getting that extra episode every Friday, or by your one time donations or your small monthly donations that are found in the show notes. You are helping spread the soul recovery message and supporting this community. Visit the website recoveryoursoulnet for dates, times, everything that's happening, register for the support group and how to stay connected. Together we can do the work that will recover your soul.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 14:43

Awareness is important because it's not about them, it's about us, and I know for me that when I stopped pointing my finger outside all the time and saying if Rich would just be like this, if my kids would just be like this, if the job would just be like this, the awareness was really that that stuff wasn't feeling good to me. It didn't feel good to me and the only control that I have. This is the new step two in soul recovery. We are powerless. Releasing control. Identify attachments. Recognize that your pain and suffering comes from your attachment to control and the illusion of power over external circumstances. Embrace powerlessness. Accept that you are powerless over everything outside of yourself and that your true strength and peace comes from within.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 15:34

When you start recognizing that you're spending so much time out there trying to fix and control and take care of, to be the savior of the complex world that it is guess what? The world is complex, people are complex, and when we come back and we start having this awareness of how do I feel, how do I put myself in the situations or how am I not feeling what I need to feel? Because I'm afraid, because I don't want to hurt, or I don't want to hurt or I don't want to be angry. And when we move into these family situations, we go back into very old people pleasing codependent behaviors to try to keep the peace with everybody. Well, it doesn't mean that you don't show up as your most healed, authentic, whole self. It means that you have an awareness of what's happening, of how you feel. It means that you observe and you have a witness of everybody, without thinking that it's your job to fix and take care of everybody else's stuff. It means that you show up in your most authentic way of speaking Kindness, compassionate. Is it necessary? Do we need to tell everybody what we don't like that they're doing? Can we ask for what we need with the minimal amount of information that doesn't justify or attack? Can we just sort of watch it like a movie and be curious and interested about what the twists and turns will be and recognize that ultimately, in the end, everyone is responsible for their own storyline? This awareness allows us to move into a place where we stop trying to control and we're just watching. There's more observation and less getting in there and doing it, fixing it. Getting in there and doing it, fixing it.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 17:36

For Thanksgiving, my dad and his girlfriend are coming into town. He is oh my gosh. I can't believe that it was a year ago that we had just found out that my dad had rectal cancer and that was pretty bad and at 83 years old, the prognosis was well. We'll see, but he went through. If you've listened to the podcast, he went through seven weeks of chemo and radiation through the Christmas holiday season. He spent the year after that gaining his strength back and they're coming up and he's in pretty darn good shape. I'm amazed and grateful for all the prayers that people gave from this community and how much he has made it through.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 18:16

And my awareness is that I have this piece of me that knows that he made it through this and I have a part of me that wants to create an environment. That is just so, because I don't know how much time is left Now. He's 84. He made it through this but we'll see. You know I just there's more preciousness around the time and this part of me that so wants everything to go okay for everybody is an important part of me. It's not about dismissing that. I'm conscientious of people and how they feel and what they need and what they want, but I don't want to lose myself. I don't want to lose myself in the situation by trying to placate everybody or create the situations that are perfect. And we have a really great set of friends that are coming with their kids and so, even though my boys are in California and won't be present, my mom's here in town. We're going to have like a really fun Thanksgiving with a new set of people all together. And my awareness is that as soon as I start to point my finger at hope that somebody else is going to show up.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 19:33

In a way, my awareness is. I come back and I check in on myself and I take that moment of pause and I ask myself what is the feeling that I'm feeling? Where's the part that I might be trying to control or trying to get involved or try to change or fix? And how can I show up as my best me, my fullest, whole self, to be open to whatever is? And my desire, my preference, is that everything is smooth and easy the whole time, that they're here and that my dad and his girlfriend have a lovely time and that everything is easy. And I'm you know I actually have a lovely time and that everything is easy. And I'm you know I actually have pretty high hopes that that's how that's going to go. I don't have any in my house right now that is a drinker and I'm grateful for all of that. I've been through those years of alcohol being a problem, not only with me drinking, but with my husband and my kids and my family, so I'm grateful that that's out of the picture, but there's still behaviors that show up and I want to be attentive to myself. I want to really be attentive and notice that that awareness gives me a line to understand more about me and to heal more parts of myself.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 20:56

Soul recovery is this turn the attention back to yourself over and over, and, over and over. And so often when someone's pushing our button or doing something that annoys us so much, it's a really great opportunity for us to have awareness around that. And in the reading it says awareness, acceptance and change. Awareness, acceptance and change. We're having that awareness. Ah, there it is. And acceptance means that you see it for what it is. You don't have to like it, you don't have to think it's a great thing, you're just witnessing it without all the judgment and all the layers of how you think it should be. You are accepting it for what it is. And then, as always, in the serenity prayer, I love how the serenity prayer really reminds us that the courage to change is our courage to change how we choose to see it, how we choose to participate in and how we choose to feel about it. We're healing and changing ourselves because we're powerless over everything outside of ourselves, over everything outside of ourselves. So as we move into the holidays, it's even more opportunity than ever to allow ourselves to use the soul recovery tools.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 22:17

I talked about two of them already. I'm going to move on to the third soul recovery step, which is discovering our unhealthy patterns, beliefs and stories, because what I find, especially when I'm with family members, is that there's a really good ability for me to have awareness of my stories and instead of blaming, I can use terms like oh, the story I'm telling myself here is that it's my job to make sure that everybody's okay and you start having a new dialogue with yourself, to understand your spiritual strength, to understand your psychological part, to understand the different aspects of yourself, to start to put the puzzle pieces together of your wholeness, because you are so much more than you believe, you have so much more strength than you imagine, and we are giving our power away over and over and over by needing it all to be perfect for us to be okay. If we can sit in our discomfort, I love that. That reading also talked about being able to just be uncomfortable. Allow others to be uncomfortable. It doesn't mean that you encourage the discomfort. It doesn't mean that you revel in it. It doesn't mean that you throw yourself a pity party or you get all wrapped up in it. It means that you just observe it, you see it. You have awareness around who man? I feel really uncomfortable right here and I can see that the story I'm telling myself is that I need to do x, or I am x, or it's my fault, or if I had just done this, or whatever those stories are.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 24:02

And then the next step in soul recovery is opening to your higher power, open to co-create with your higher power, exploring what your higher power is for you and really stepping into a relationship with that, with source energy, god light, whatever you call it and begin to co-create. So, if you're in this situation of stepping into your holiday season, there's a difference between co-creating and controlling. Co-creating is allowing us to be in the flow, but also being willing to have an awareness of what our preferences are. What is calling us? Using the law of attraction to talk to ourselves about feelings. I love that I get to be with my family and we're going to laugh and have such a good time and even if there's slip ups or mishaps or situations that we have all the skills to be able to handle it. Well, that's co-creating, because that's allowing for whatever comes. But you have a little bit of a preference and a desire of a destination, and it's about how it feels, not about exactly what's going to happen. And in that you're allowing source spirit to hold you, guide you, so that you can actually be present in whatever it is.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 25:25

Then in soul recovery, we move to releasing old patterns and stories in step five. Step six is embracing new beliefs, rewriting your story. Step seven is align with a new perception. Step eight is deepen your spiritual practice and step nine is shine your light. Soul recovery is this incredible ability for us to know and learn more about ourselves and to show up in our lives in a way that transforms into the wholeness of who we are and takes all of those complex and painful and difficult situations that we had in the past and continue to have. And they give us strength, they give us more to learn about ourselves. We use them as awareness, we use them to be curious, we use them as markers and signposts to help us on our path, to choose more, more accurately and be more aligned with the wholeness of how we are and the relationships that are calling towards us to be healthy and whole and happy.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 26:31

So, as you step into the Thanksgiving season, my call for you is to remember that we are all on this kooky path together, that everyone's just showing up with the best they have at that moment, and some of them are going to show up with stuff that isn't all that great emotionally, physically, spiritually but when we quit trying to control it and we just have an awareness, ah, I see where they're at and we don't try to fix it, and we believe and trust and know that our higher power is indeed there for us, co-creating, as she talks about in this reading, that we can release the stories, that we're opening up to a new way of being, that we're allowing everybody to be exactly who they are and we're putting more and more attention on how we are showing up, how we see it, how we think and feel and believe, and what are our actions and how do we attend to ourself. That's our call in soul recovery. Have a wonderful, wonderful Thanksgiving or, if you're listening to this later, a wonderful holiday. And if it isn't the holidays for you anymore, may you take these teachings and apply them in your soul recovery journey for your own spiritual path to a happy and healthy life. Until next time, namaste, thank you for listening and I hope that that helps support your soul recovery process.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 28:04

I just wanted to give you a quick reminder that every Friday is the recover your soul bonus podcast and this is available both to Apple podcast subscribers for $3.99 a month, or it's available for both free and paid Patreon members. So as a Patreon member, you can choose. Do you want to support the podcast with $5, $10 or $25 a month? Totally volunteer, but to let you know that if you want to listen to those bonus episodes incredible interviews, wonderful book studies you don't have to be a paid member. You can access them in the first week or two that they're available free on Patreon.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 28:42

This community is so important to me and I want you to know I treat it with love and consideration. If you want coaching, I'm here for you and I want you to know I treat it with love and consideration. If you want coaching, I'm here for you. You want to come to a retreat? I'm here for you. You want to come to the free soul recovery support group? The community is here for you. Watch us on Facebook, instagram, follow us on all the social media for daily inspiration. Be part of the Facebook group and one of the most important things is that you share this podcast with people that you think that it will resonate with, that you think that they're interested. Give it five stars, give it a review. We are growing this community together because together we can do the work that will recover your soul.