From People-Pleasing to Self-Love: Healing Family Patterns with Soul Recovery

The journey of Soul Recovery invites us to shift from old patterns of people-pleasing and codependency to a place of self-love and empowerment. In this heartfelt episode, I share my personal experiences over the holidays—navigating family dynamics, old expectations, and the sneaky ways control can creep back in.

Together, we’ll explore how to show up authentically, let go of trying to fix or manage others, and embrace the spiritual tools that bring peace, love, and connection. I reflect on the courage it takes to ask for what you need, stand in your truth, and allow others the space to be themselves—all while staying present with your own feelings and growth.

Soul Recovery is not about bypassing life’s complexities but learning how to be in the messiness with grace and awareness. Whether you're healing from codependency, struggling with family relationships, or seeking a deeper sense of self-worth, this episode offers wisdom and encouragement for the path forward.

Let’s move into 2025 together with clarity, strength, and love—releasing what no longer serves us and creating space for deeper, more authentic connections with ourselves and others.

FREE Soul Recovery Support Group on Zoom- 1st Monday of the Month from 6-7PM Mountain Time, free and open to everyone!

Work the Steps on Your Own- Steps One and Two are up and ready to go, with Three and Four on the way! Start your Soul Recovery today. 
Visit the website to learn more about Soul Recovery.

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.

Chapters

• 0:00 Navigating Soul Recovery Through Life's Challenges
• 5:41 Navigating Family Dynamics With Grace
• 21:05 Navigating Decisions With Loved Ones
• 28:17 Trusting Intuition Through Life's Challenges
• 32:42 Embracing Complexity on Soul Recovery

Transcript

Rev Rachel Harrison: 0:44

One of the foundational aspects of soul recovery is to learn how to be in the presence of difficult times, that being with family or in some of the things that are happening in the world today. Doesn use the new tools of changing your beliefs to trusting, trusting and knowing that you are indeed held by something even greater still. In this episode I talk about my experience over the holidays and those ups and downs that we have around. How are we falling back into old, codependent people pleasing ways of being, but being mindful and aware of them in ways that allow us to grow and expand and heal our family dynamics? To ask for what you need, to be willing to have a voice and begin to put yourself at the same level as everybody that you've always put ahead of you, using soul recovery to stand in the strength of who you are and being present with what is in a new way of being. Enjoy the episode. Welcome to the Recover your Soul podcast a spiritual path to a happy and healthy life.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 2:03

My name is Reverend Rachel Harrison. I started Recover your Soul after having profound changes in my life. From my recovery of alcoholism, codependency and control addiction, I was guided to share the tools and principles of spirituality and soul recovery to help others transform their lives, as mine was transformed. For us to overcome external circumstances, we need to turn the attention to ourselves, focusing on our inner change and healing. Positive results in our lives will follow. Welcome to Recover your Soul. I'm Rev Rachel.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 2:40

Maybe you are coming back to this amazing community to listen to this podcast and you've been here for a while and I just want to say thank you so very much for being such an essential, foundational part of this incredible, incredible group of people. And maybe you're new. Maybe you're finding us and you're wondering how you can start 2025 in a new way and you're looking at codependency or people pleasing or control, or you have addiction in your life some way and it's affecting you and hurting your heart, and that's what we're here for. We're learning that we have all these outside forces that seem overwhelming and we want to come back to ourselves. We want to learn how to take our power back and learn how to be okay even when the people around us or the situations around us are overwhelming, and that we can indeed find our center. That's what soul recovery is all about.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 3:40

I recorded my previous episodes before I left for my trip to California and since then a lot has happened and there's a lot going on in the world right now and as I record this, we are in the midst of the fires from California and LA and Pacific Palisades and the other communities surrounding that area, other communities surrounding that area and so I just really want to check in and do a little recap of what my holidays were like and how I use soul recovery in my own process and really just be a love and support to everybody who is affected by what's happening in our world in so many different ways and come back to our center to use our soul recovery tools, to use our principles to really align ourselves into love and to not fall into fear. You know the world is so complicated I've never diminished how complicated the world is. I think that's an essential piece of soul recovery is we're not spiritually bypassing and saying, oh, if you just think the next higher thought, then you can pretend like nothing's happening. That's not actually what earth school is about. That's not what being a human being is all about. What being a human being is all about is actually being present in this moment for what it is, and very often what is is complicated, it's complex and it has a lot of different layers to it. What we're learning in soul recovery is we're learning how to begin to clear away a lot of the projections that we have, the old stories, the old beliefs that we're running from in this old operating system that we gathered up in our experience of our being raised, of our creating our identity, and we're moving aside the stuff that no longer serves us, that does not benefit us, to stand in our spiritually grounded center.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 5:41

And it's fascinating to me how, no matter how much work you do, there's always life to be lived, and that there's this desire that we have for it all to be smooth and easy and it isn't always going to be smooth and easy, but when we do this work, what ends up happening is that, when we do have those moments of rest, when we do have moments of grace, that we can actually allow ourselves to reset and resettle so that we have the strength and capacity to move through difficult and complex situations and times. So I just want to do a little recap of what my holidays were like, because the holidays aren't easy for everybody, you know. I think it's so beautiful this idea that we have around Christmas and New Year's and Hanukkah or whatever, or Kwanzaa or whatever celebrations that people have. You know, it's amazing how in October like as soon as there was just this moment I went into Costco and there was Christmas trees in October and all the Christmas decorations and it just seems like it's moves further and further forward. And there's this magic and sparkle that comes around the holidays and there's so much desire for it to feel and be a certain way. And I know that for me I've had moments where there's just been this real magic that happens around the holidays, with all the beautiful lights and people feeling like love and connection. And I also recognize that there's a lot of pressure to have some sort of perfection or for it to look a certain way. And there's this energy that I feel, now that I'm more attuned to my own intuition and I can actually feel energies of others in a way that I never had allowed myself to do before, that you feel this energy and it has a lot of layers to it, and so when I moved into the holidays, I was really trying to use my soul recovery tools to not get all caught up in old patterns of expectations and trying to keep it all together and have it all be perfect, and yet I still did it right. It's so funny to look back and, when you have hindsight, to see that that expectation is so sneaky. The control that we try to have in our lives is so sneaky. The control that we try to have in our lives is so sneaky, and it's not about being mad at it or judging it or being upset with yourself for how that works out. This is really in soul recovery is about giving yourself real grace and compassion about how natural it is. So most of you know that what I did over the holidays was Rich and I drove to California and got an Airbnb in Pleasure Point in Santa Cruz where Bodie lives.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 8:39

Bodie lives in Santa Cruz and Alex, our oldest son, and his girlfriend live in Sacramento, and so I thought for this holiday season, instead of flying everybody in because no one has the money to fly in, so I always end up flying everybody in anyway, flying into the house and there's not enough space for everybody and I wanted to create different memories that we would actually go to California. So we got this Airbnb and Rich got a camper together. That is pretty rudimentary. It works just fine, it turns out. It's a lot colder in California, northern California, in the winter than I had anticipated, and so we are pulling this little tiny little camper with the Mazda. The Mazda is covered with surfboards, has two or three surfboards and the racks on it that Rich is going to surf with, and I really felt like I was not being consumed with expectation.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 9:35

I really felt like I was really wanting to be open and really wanting to let everybody be themselves, really wanting to practice this piece of soul recovery where we're just showing up. You know, we're just showing up as ourselves and doing some planning, some awareness of how things are going to work out, but just trying to really let it all lay out. But as we got closer and closer to our destination, I could feel that I was wound up. I could feel that I had this anticipation of everybody coming in and I had fear of it not going well. I had fear around I can't help but still have post-traumatic stress and I really want you guys to all just allow yourself to recognize that we've had really complex relationships with our family members and that this post-traumatic stress that we can have is very real, and to be gentle to yourself that even when things are going well and your families are healing and your work that you're doing on yourself is so incredible and you are staying in your own lane and you're working on your soul recovery and you're letting go of control and you're mindful. It is still this part of us that's like waiting for the shoe to drop, waiting for it all to fall apart, and I was really really, really excited for us to all to get together and be sober for the first time, right?

Rev Rachel Harrison: 11:02

So Rich and I are sober. I've been sober I'm coming up on seven years through the grace of spirit. I'm so grateful for it. Rich has been legitimately not had anything to drink for a while now I'm not actually quite sure, but quite a long time and he's been doing his own soul recovery journey since we both quit drinking the first. Well, you know the whole story about that. Anyway, it's seven years ago when we got sober together and then he continued to kind of splinter out and have his own drinks. But he's been doing this spiritual work. Bodhi is coming up on six months of solid sobriety and he is really in his sobriety.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 11:41

And then Alex, when he found out that he was going to be a dad, he went into sobriety and I assumed right, I made this assumption that we he was going to be a dad. He went into sobriety and I assumed right, I made this assumption that we were all going to show up sober. Well, I had an inkling, before everybody arrived, that Alex's sobriety had wavered, not that he was actually trying to be sober on the same level as the rest of us, but that he had started to kind of partake a little bit more. And when everybody showed up, my heart sank because I could hear him going out into the back of the Airbnb and smoking weed. You know, you can smell it and I could hear him coughing.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 12:24

And this part of me that had the grief just around, this desire that I have for our family to actually truly be sober and the recognition that these principles that we've been teaching and learning about, not being obsessive or compulsive around the sobriety, but we really want to be putting the energy on the behaviors and the connections. We really want to be putting the energy on the behaviors and the connections. And so I did the work of just really being present and being attentive to myself and recognizing that I did have sadness, that I had this part of me that really hoped that he would get on the same train with us because it just feels so good and it's had such positive results in everybody's lives. And when he was really, really sober, he said that he liked it, that he felt better, that he grasped how much better it was for him. And so I have this post traumatic stress disorder piece of me PTSD that goes back to like what if everything falls apart? You know, I start to catastrophize he's having this baby, and then what if he goes back to like what if everything falls apart? You know, I start to catastrophize he's having this baby, and then what if he goes back to being messed up all the time, you know? And then I just attended to myself and I did that thing that I encourage you to do, which is just to talk to yourself from your higher self and just say, yeah, that does feel scary. We are here in a space of faith, trusting and knowing that everything is indeed working out for its highest good, and I have to let go of whatever his journey is. I have to trust that he's on his own path. He still is 28 years old, he's young, he's figuring it out. And then I was present with him, as he was right, even smoking a little bit of weed or whatever, and he was lovely and he was funny and he was, he was present, right, and he was really sweet with his girlfriend. My mom flew in as well, so she was there. So it was me and Rich and my mom and Alex and his girlfriend and Bodie, so it was, you know, all six of us and I attended to that part of myself that wanted to have it be a different way, but it was okay the way that it was.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 14:39

Are you ready to step into your soul recovery? Visit the website recoveryoursoulnet to learn more about the nine step soul recovery process. I hope that you'll join us the first Monday of every month for the free soul recovery support group on Zoom, where we learn more about soul recovery and connect with each other. If you'd like to work directly with me to move through the nine-step soul recovery process, I'm here for you. But you can also choose to work the steps on your own, with individual modules intended to support you to work at your own pace and on your own time. And if you want even more soul recovery, join us for the Recover your Soul bonus podcast for Patreon members and Apple podcast subscribers, where I interview amazing people sharing soul recovery tips for us and also do spiritual book studies. You can also find daily inspiration on Facebook and Instagram and join our private Facebook community. Visit the website for more information, links and registration for everything. Back to the episode.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 15:39

And then there was this dynamic that happened where Alex has gained a lot of weight and he's conscious of it and he's self-conscious of it and he actually will be the first one to kind of tease himself about it. But we all kind of ganged up on him in a way around it, you know, because we're concerned about it, and he started to shrink. And as he shrunk, guess what he did? He went and used a little bit more. I watched it happen. What he did he went and used a little bit more. I watched it happen.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 16:10

And there was this one day in the midst of it where there was like a little bit of crunchiness and I actually said something kind of condescending to him and he really got really withdrawn and really really shrunk in a little bit more into the moods that he can have. And you know I was really proud of is that we talked about it. We talked about it as a family in a way that we would have never done before. You know, that's the soul recovery is successful in our lives, not because there wasn't a crunchy moment, not because it wasn't hard, it's because, with kindness and compassion and openness and love, we opened the door and talked about it. And when I said to Alex, I can tell that you're upset, and he said no, no, it's fine, it's fine. I said it's not fine and I really am curious and want to know what's really going on with you. And he said I feel like you guys are all on top of me and it's making me feel really uncomfortable. And I said you're right, we have been absolutely.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 17:14

And then we sat down as a family, all six of us, at the table and he shared how he felt and we each apologized for our part, without like old defensive posturing that we would have done without defending. And you know who impressed me the most? There's those tears again, man, I have been through it with my family and so these moments when we actually do this work all together. But who impressed me the most was my husband, who used to be so, so, so, so critical and so defensive and was so hard for me. He was the softest, he was the one who really took the lead in being compassionate and really open and really expressing feelings and inviting the family to connect and to support each other in a way that he had never done before, and that's huge. That was huge. So this one kind of crunchy, weird day that we had was really a day for us to continue this healing journey that we've been on, where we can really really be present with each other, really really be present with each other and hear each other. And hear each other instead of defending or attacking or fixing.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 18:53

And I watched myself want to be in those old behavior patterns where I'm making sure that everybody's okay, right, where I'm playing this peacekeeper, people pleaser, codependent, and that awareness is the most important part. It isn't that I wasn't perfect and I didn't do it all just right, but I was aware of it in a way that allowed me to actually feel the feelings underneath, like I talk about with you, of going under the rock and saying what am I dancing on top of the rock? Of what do I want to control? I want everyone to be happy and I don't want there to be any stickiness or uncomfortableness and I'm going to do these things, to try to say and do these things so that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you're powerless over all that stuff anyway, powerless over it. But underneath I was attending to that piece of myself that just said I don't like people to be uncomfortable, I don't want to be uncomfortable. I want everybody's needs to be met. I want everyone to be happy. I want everybody to feel loved and supported. I want to feel loved and supported and we did it.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 20:03

And what's interesting is that we ended up adding another day onto the Airbnb because it was going so well. We needed more time. We needed more time together. I couldn't believe it, you know. I thought four nights would have been plenty for all of us, but we needed more time together and things went easy and my heart just was so full. We had such a beautiful Christmas and as soon as we sort of got over that piece of of you know, really recognizing where the sticky places were and Alex was still going out and smoking weed every once in a while, but not as much, not as much, you know and he really was present and we went to beaches and we went for for walks and we ate at home the whole time and made food, because it's incredibly expensive for six people to eat out, especially in California, and we really just were connected to each other.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 21:06

And then we moved into this space where Rich and I moved into our little camper and were in the lot that Bodhi has his RV where he lives as well, and it was cold. It was cold in Northern California. It was rainy, rainy, rainy, and it was pretty basic and a little bit rough, and in the past I would have just totally sucked it up. I would have just totally hunkered down and just said what you need or what doesn't feel comfortable doesn't matter, because this is about making sure that Rich gets enough surfing in and you're just going to hold out, pull up your bootstraps and just hold on.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 21:53

And right around that time, right when we made the transition from the Airbnb into the campers, when I had my meet and greet with this really beautiful, heartfelt group of women in Santa Cruz I love those meetings, oh my gosh, that was the most beautiful two hours with some phenomenal, phenomenal soul recovery members, and I was a little bit in shell shock in that meeting because we had just gone from this house into a very, very simple box, like there's no bathroom. There's no. You know, it's like not that easy, super cold. And when I came home from that meet and greet and had that first day or two of cold weather, I actually did something that I didn't used to do, which is I came to Rich and I said this is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be and although I recognize that I can do it, I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to spend two weeks in the cold.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 22:55

And the idea was that we were going to spend the first week in Santa Cruz and then Bodie had to go off to do work and wasn't going to be around, and then we were going to spend the second week down in Ventura and so that Rich could surf there. And I had this idea that I could work remotely. And you know, it turns out that is not necessarily as easy as it seems. Even when we were in the house, it was harder to to sit down and do work. And then we were going to come back up the weekend of January 12th for for Alex and Lexi's baby shower, and I was torn I had so much heartache around two things.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 23:38

One was asking for what I needed and and having the part of me that felt like could I actually say this doesn't work for me, this is so um, this doesn't work for me, this is so uncomfortable for me that I'm going to ask for what I need Unbelievably difficult for me. It was very interesting to watch how hard that was, because Rich is surfing and having time for him on the coast. You know, 32 years of our life we've spent with him doing that right and that's the number one thing. On every vacation, every trip we ever take is around him surfing, and that that was the point and that this had been my idea to do this sort, as well as saying that I wasn't going to be at the baby shower for my son and I cried over this stuff that I could feel those parts of me that were so attached to old beliefs and old stories that said you can't ask for what you need and if you let somebody down, if you don't put your needs at the very bottom, then you're some sort of failure that you need to make sure that everybody else is taken care of. And how could you possibly ask to just go home when you're the one that set up this trip? You're the one that asked them to have the baby shower around this time so that you could do these things.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 25:15

And I was torn, my heart was breaking over this and at the same time, all the soul recovery principles were dancing around me and spirit was dancing around me and enabling me to be in the midst of it and to be kind to myself. And in the midst of it again. I just want to report that something massive is shifting with Rich and I and how we communicate and how we're present for each other and how he was supportive to me and we sat down and we talked about all the different scenarios. We talked about the scenario of me flying home and then flying back to the baby shower. We talked about us leaving early, us doing this trip you know, part of this trip doing, you know. We talked about all these different scenarios and in the end we came back to let's just cut the trip short a week and when Bodie needs to go to work, we will drive up to Sacramento, We'll go spend a little bit more time with Alex and his girlfriend and then we'll get home.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 26:16

And I wanted to get home in time to have the Soul Recovery Support Group back in Colorado with internet that I could count on and back in my hometown and I had never really been supported like that when I called Alex and his girlfriend and told him what was happening and tears you know tears flowing again, so much emotion around all of this, around all of this, because we love our families so much. We love our families so much, we would do anything for them. That's kind of how we get ourselves into these complex situations anyway, that that complex nature of what does love mean? How do you show up for people, how do you support people? And I felt like I was really failing them by not being at the baby shower and I felt sad for myself to not be there because I really wanted to. But what if I could actually say that the conditions in which we would have stayed were too much for me and that it wasn't working for me and we had already spent all of the money that we could afford in the Airbnb and so it wasn't an option to stay in hotels for two weeks. So there we were, in this situation and you know what, alex and his girlfriend were so kind, especially my son, who you just, I'm just watching grow up and mature, and his heart just be full, and he said, of course I would love for you to be their mom I love you so much and you're so important to me be full. And he said of course I would love for you to be there, mom, I love you so much and you're so important to me, but I want you to do what's right for you and and I get it. And that was huge. That was another huge thing.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 28:18

And actually, as I record this, it's the day of the baby shower. And then what's fascinating is we get home and we're safe at home. The weather was perfect for the huge drive. It takes a long time to drive a vehicle pulling a little trailer that will only go 60 miles an hour, so you know it's quite a trek to go there and to come back. And we arrive home on Sunday night at midnight, have Monday to decompress on Sunday night at midnight, have Monday to decompress. I have the support group, which I just am so grateful for, that incredible group of people that we get together once a month, and if you haven't come to the free zoom support group, I encourage you to do so. It's such a beautiful, beautiful group of people.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 29:05

And then the fires start and there was something in me. I just want to say that when we have these intuitions, my mind was so confused in a way, around all of the what is pulling me to be home. I could have handled it. I could have handled it being in the box for two weeks. It would have been warmer down in Ventura anyway. Right, we could have done it. But something in me, some intuition, some guidance, was saying go home, go home, go home. And then when the fire started and Rich and I watched in, just just a shock, as we all did the night of the big fire starting in Pacific Palisades, Something in me was amazed that I wasn't right there. Ventura is not that far, and it's not that we would have been in danger, but emotionally, energetically, we would have been affected. And there was just something about this awareness that we have so much more intuition and guidance that we give ourselves credit for.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 30:16

And my family, rich's family, is directly affected by all of this. They're evacuated At this very moment as this is being recorded. Their homes are still standing. But Rich grew up in Pacific Palisades. His entire community that he spent his middle school, high school years is gone. The home that he lived in is gone and it's been incredibly painful and complex to be in this situation, knowing that your family members are evacuated. You know to be feeling the energy and and knowing what this feels like.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 30:53

My mom lost her house three years ago in the fires here in Louisville. We lost a thousand homes here in Louisville. We've been through this. So there's all of this awareness of how incredibly complex all of this is and it plays into all of it. Where can we open our hearts to be present with how we feel and trust and know that we're always being guided and held by something even greater still that is providing us support, that we can be in the complexity of the moment, that we are okay, that even what is, no matter how painful it is, that there is light on the other side, and my mom is the.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 31:39

I say this all the time. My mom is the example of someone who lost their home, who was in it and chose to be happy and chose to continue to move forward and create a new life for herself. And when she looks back, she has sadness and grief over the loss of all of her possessions and the house that she knew and the life that she knew. But she'll say over and over and over again that that process, that experience, was something to walk through. That was you learn so much from loss. You learn about yourself, you learn about your faith, you learn about the grit of who you are, you learn about the community, you learn about the love that's around you. You learn about the love that's around you and that the house that she has now is more it's more accustomed and accommodating to who she is as an older woman anyway, which is fascinating. Right, financially, she actually is more stable than she was before.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 32:43

It won't be the case for everybody, but if you stand in this, knowing that we can always choose love over fear, and it doesn't mean that you won't go through tears, that you won't go through pain, that you won't go through fear, but that you can indeed do this, whatever it is, and even you know just the energy of what's happening in our world right now and the fear that people have around politics, be in your heart, be in your soul, recognize that you're continuing to shed these old beliefs, these old patterns, these old ways of being. They want to keep you small, to be brave enough to have these big conversations, to be brave enough to stand up and say this is what I need and allow other people to show up for you, to support you, and allow yourself to recognize that people can only give what they have to give in each moment. The more that I just allow myself to be in a space of awakened mind, of awakened mind, open heart, compassionate love for myself and for others, the more that I can feel and know that the universe is indeed working out for us, but that doesn't mean that it won't have these weird twists and turns. The other strange thing that happened when we arrived in Santa Cruz was it was the day of the big storm. It was the day that the wharf fell into the ocean and, as we were driving across town to get to the Airbnb, was the moment that the wharf fell and the traffic was diverted and we're, you know, driving over these roads that had just been washed out, and Rich walked down to the end of the beach and saw these 20 and 30 foot waves that were never been seen before.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 34:39

And life is happening in a big way right now and I want you to recognize that. You feel that in your body, you could feel that and it's understandable, and to not push it away but to actually allow yourself to breathe and have awareness that it's true, because all of our old protectors that want to keep everything at bay are going to use some old tools that do not benefit you anymore and we're standing in a new way of being. We're releasing fear, we're releasing doubt, we're releasing those parts of us that want to protect and push down, and I'm inviting you, I'm encouraging you, I'm asking you to be in the presence of your body and of your feelings, because in that place strength arises and in that place you are a human being feeling. You are a spiritual being in a human body, and these experiences with people and situations is the entire purpose of your soul being here. And there will be difficulty and there will be complex situations, but we can stop seeing them as struggle, we can stop seeing them as hard, we can stop being afraid.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 36:04

And the more that I invested in my family, in being present with them, with love and tenderness to myself and relaxing and releasing and releasing, the more they showed up more authentically, more openly, and the love that we have for each other is so beautiful and so kind, and Rich and I had such a good trip and such good connection and I would never have let that in before. I pushed that away because I was trying for it to be something that it wasn't. But what it is actually is very beautiful. And the moment that we got home I knew it was the right place for us to be at this time. I knew that that was what was calling to me to be home. We would have still been Sacramento today. We would have been driving home this next week. It would not have worked out in a lot of different ways.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 36:58

I was trying to control and push something that wasn't right. Soul recovery is around you, feeling more aware and tender to yourself in all of it. The more that we let go of control of everything outside of ourselves and allow others to be present in their own experience, the more that they actually can step into the responsibility that they have to be who they are choosing to be and we have more energy for us to choose for ourself how we are going to be. And as much as I kind of in some moments in the trip felt like I was sliding, or maybe I didn't have ground to stand on or you know why wasn't I feeling more confident I recognize so deeply that being a human being is the juiciness of it and that these complex feelings I never even let myself feel before. I had too many tools that kept me in denial, that kept me from feeling the feelings. So actually feeling the feelings is success, even if the feeling is anxiety and a little bit of out of control-ness or fear.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 38:15

In the midst of all of it, there was a social media post that was a Ram Dass quote that said if you think you're enlightened, spend a week with your family. And I laughed out loud when I saw that, because it's pretty easy here, in this environment that I've created for myself, to be peaceful and at ease. And I also had the recognition that it's okay to create an environment where you're peaceful and at ease so that you can recharge your batteries and regain strength, so that when you do go out into the complexity of the world, you are in a space of wholeness instead of in a place of depletion. And that was a good reminder too, to set up the world in our daily environment. That is about filling ourselves up spiritually, emotionally, physically, to be whole, to be connected to source, to remember that everything is indeed working out for us, that we are not in competition or in fear of the world, that we are always supported and loved.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 39:25

So, as we step into 2025, I feel like this is a year of power for us. I feel like this is a year for us in our soul recovery journey where we have been gathering up the tools, where we've been learning about ourselves, and that this is the year, in this complex nature of what it's going to be, that we're going to stand in our strength even more than ever, and I'm excited to lead you through that. I'm excited for this community to continue to grow. I'm excited for the soul recovery journey for everyone who's here. We are doing this together. Visit the website to learn more about how to get involved, how to do your soul recovery steps, either with me or with the programs. I'm going to be even more diligent in getting those programs out and going working on the books. I've got lots of stuff going on. I want this to get out to even more people so that we can be okay in the midst of the complexity that is, and I'm here to support you along the way. Until next time.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 40:29

Namaste, thank you for listening and I hope that that helps support your soul recovery process. Just a reminder that every Friday is the recover your soul bonus podcast. This podcast is for Patreon members and Apple podcast subscribers, and not only do you get an incredible interview or book study that comes with being part of that community, but your subscribing helps support this podcast and the Recover your Soul community. If you want to listen to those bonus episodes but can't subscribe right now, do know that you can be a free Patreon member and have access for limited time, to new episodes. Visit the website RecoverYourSoulnet or check out the show links below for coupons and information for upcoming events. I thank you for sharing this podcast with your friends and family. I thank you for giving it five stars, and the reviews that are left bring tears to my eyes. I am honored to be part of your life. Together, we can do the work that will recover your soul.