You Are Not Broken: Using “Of Course” to Reclaim Worthiness and Release Shame

What if one simple phrase could shift the way you see yourself—and your entire healing journey? In this episode of the Recover Your Soul Podcast, Rev Rachel introduces a powerful spiritual tool: the phrase “of course.”

This gentle, compassionate practice invites you to look at your past behaviors, choices, and patterns through the lens of grace rather than shame. Instead of asking “What’s wrong with me?” you begin to affirm: Of course I did the best I could with what I had.

Through the lens of Soul Recovery, this phrase becomes a doorway to deep self-love and the release of shame. It allows you to soften judgment, forgive yourself, and come back to the truth:

✨ You are not broken—you are remembering your wholeness.
✨ Of course you are worthy. Of course you are lovable. Of course you can heal.

Let this episode support your journey back to yourself, one compassionate breath at a time.

Join Rev. Rachel for an upcoming Soul Recovery workshop or retreat—an opportunity to deepen your healing, release old patterns, and reconnect with your true self. Learn more and register at https://www.recoveryoursoul.net/inperson

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introducing Self-Compassion and Grace
• 1:42 Origins of the "Of Course" Tool
• 9:15 Self-Forgiveness and Compassion
• 13:07 The Universal Language of Self-Healing
• 18:30 Practical Application of Self-Love
• 29:34 Soul Recovery Community Reminder

Transcript

Rev Rachel Harrison: 0:00

Isn't it interesting that we can be so hard on ourselves, and it's so easy to be hard on ourselves and critical, but it's a lot harder to give yourself grace and compassion, and that grace and compassion is the opening of the door to self love. Today's episode is talking about a very specific tool, a tool that allows you to see where you were and to give yourself compassion in each one of those moments. Of course you made those choices, of course you felt that way. When we use the term, of course there's an enormous amount of healing, there's enormous amount of awareness and self-compassion that can come flooding in and give yourself permission to be where you were at that time. And once you know how you felt, where you came from, what was going on with you, then of course there's movement forward, there's healing for you, there's soul recovery. Of course there is. Enjoy the episode.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 1:02

Welcome to the Recover your Soul podcast a spiritual path to a happy and healthy life. My name is Reverend Rachel Harrison. I started Recover your Soul after having profound changes in my life from my recovery of alcoholism, codependency and control addiction. I was guided to share the tools and principles of spirituality and soul recovery to help others transform their lives as mine was transformed. For us to overcome external circumstances, we need to turn the attention to ourselves, focusing on our inner change and healing. Positive results in our lives will follow.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 1:43

Welcome to the Recovery Soul Podcasting community. I'm Rev Rachel. I'm just so glad that we're all here together on this soul recovery journey. Just again and again, I just have such gratitude about how my journey of learning how to be okay when the people around me weren't okay, and my journey of recovery from alcoholism, which, for me, in my personal situation my drinking really was a way to try to numb the feeling that I felt around codependency, this uncomfortable feeling that I had around what other people were feeling, other people were thinking and how much pressure I felt to take care of everyone else. And so, of course, I did. Of course I found a way to numb myself, and today's episode we're going to be talking about this self acceptance.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 2:30

We're going to be talking about how to really deepen this part of really giving yourself grace for where you have been, and, of course, you have this tool that has come to me using this word specifically, of course has been really powerful in my life and it came a while ago, so I wanted to tell you the journey of where it came from and then how I'm hearing it more and more in other places and how it makes sense that it's this opportunity for us to really step into our self acceptance and self love, because, ultimately, at the foundation of so much of our pain and suffering, so much of what's going on inside of us, is something inside that thinks that we're not worthy, that we're broken, that we're not enough, we're unlovable, that there's something wrong with us. And when we look at it from the soul recovery perspective, from the spiritual perspective, which is the greater perspective this is the spiritual journey, this is what spirituality is all about is bringing you to a place where you begin to see that that's not true but you are whole, that you are enough, that you are loved, that you are worthy, innately worthy, all on your own. You don't have to deserve it. But that's not how we were raised, that's not how it was when we were growing up and, to be honest, it's amazing. We're in this new consciousness, we're in this state where there's more and more opportunity for us to have these kinds of conversations, for us to actually look on a deeper level at ourselves and to break these generational traumas, these generational ways of being that slowly, slowly and sometimes not on purpose, and sometimes on purpose, we're continuing this path.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 4:18

That said, there's something wrong with you. You're not enough. Who do you think you are? Is such a common thing that comes? Who do you think you are? What if we think we are the heart of spirit? What if we think that we are deserving? What if we think that we are enough? What if we do recognize that we are the expression of creation itself, that we are divine, that we are beautiful, that we are whole? It would change everything, but what the first step is is for us to really recognize where it came from.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 4:54

And we're in the Easter season and I'm not going to go into a whole religious or if I was being Rev Rachel, I would do at a virtual center. I would do a whole other thing and I don't want to do that. But what I do want to mention is that when I grew up as a Buddhist and we didn't really have Easter and I started going to Unity Church in my 30s, and what Unity taught the metaphysical interpretation of Easter, and again, I want you to take whatever is yours and hold what is yours. I'm not you to take whatever is yours and hold what is yours. I'm not trying to give you anything that isn't what you already have in your heart. I think there's space for all of it. Nothing is right or wrong, but what I learned in unity was this is a time of Easter is really a time of releasing the crucifixion that we have within ourself. That this part that Jesus showed us was that you have to have a personal crucifixion that we have within ourself. That this part that Jesus showed us was that you have to have a personal crucifixion to have a resurrection, to have a letting go, but first you have to go through this darkness to move into the light, and whatever that is for you, whatever the Easter season or Passover season is for you.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 6:04

I just celebrated Passover. I've never done a Passover Seder before, but I did that with Alex's girlfriend. Lexi's family is Jewish and so her mom lives here in Sacramento as well now, and so we did an actual Seder and read through the whole Seder. And again, it's around freedom, it's around this letting go, it's around love, recognizing love, and also this piece that says forgive them. They know not what they do, but what I want to offer is that we're in a place where we're saying I forgive myself because I did not know, and in soul recovery, my hope is that it's this slow and steady spiritual process of awakening to who you are for real, not all the outside stuff, not all the I have tos, not all the who I'm supposed to be, or what my mother said, or what my father said, or what my aunts or uncles said, but who I know within myself self that I am, and it is this divine, loving, essential element of who you are. That is the wholeness. But of course we don't know that until we start to move into this awakened state. Of course we respond and react out of our woundedness when it's all that we have. So I want to move into this of course tool and the way that I came into this word, that just this phrase, maybe it's of course two words.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 7:32

So this phrase that came to me so intensely was long before I became Rev Rachel and was doing the podcast. It was through Al-Anon and through AA and I had done the 12 steps with sponsors and then I was sponsoring people and working with people on their fifth step, where you are sharing your fourth step, which is your personal inventory. And the fifth step is where you're expressing everything and you're talking about it all together. I had had a sponsor who I had written things out in a very Rachel way, a more general way, a more you know, kind of looking more deeply at what the bigger issues were, and I got in trouble for that which is funny, because you know how I don't like to get in trouble I got in trouble for that. She said no, no, no, you're doing it wrong. You need to go back the way that it's done here and each sponsor is different. Each one of the ways that groups or what was taught do it are different. But what she said, what you do here, is you do it this very specific way. So I need you to go back and do that very specifically.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 8:42

And so I did and it gave, I think, some relief. I think it did some of what it wanted to happen. But when I started working with people, what I found was that, as they were relaying their story to me, I found myself saying to them, as they were really sharing these deep memories, these resentments, these pains, these things that had happened in their life, and then a wave of compassion came over me, where the words that just came out were well, of course you responded in this particular way. Of course you did Look what happened, look at how that felt to you. And that was the foundation of what I began to work with when the nine step soul recovery process began to form was how do I take the 12 steps, which have a purpose, absolutely have a purpose, never trying to take them away from what they are in Al-Anon or AA If you're in those programs, highly recommend you do them exactly the way that it was dictated, just like I had to go back and do it for myself. But I had clarity when I was in those moments that I couldn't actually lead people through the 12 steps in the way that it was taught and handed down in those programs and so I actually stopped sponsoring people because it didn't feel like I could be authentic in what that was teaching, because something else was happening to me, something else was coming through to me, there was something more that I wanted to learn from, and that's really how all of this started to play out.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 10:20

But it was my work with myself as well, where this deep level of compassion that really is such an essential piece of how we finally forgive ourselves. Finally forgive ourselves. Forgive us. We know not what we do. We respond and react out of patterned and immediate behaviors, and of course we do. That's why, reaction versus respond, we react out of very patterned behaviors and when you can know better, you can do better. When you can know better, you can do better. But the part that's so important is to stop thinking that we have to know how, to stop thinking that we should have done it better, we should have done it different. Well, now we know better. So why beat yourself up? Why get caught up in in really criticizing yourself and judging yourself? And the piece that I think is so interesting is how important it is for us to release judgment in all situations, but mostly for ourself To recognize that this piece of us that's so tightly trying to hold on to what is right and what is good and how to be good and how to make it all work out so that we can be in control, so that we can know exactly what's happening next, ultimately is really just trying to give us internal peace, because if all this is smoothed out on the outside, then we'll be okay on the inside.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 11:58

Are you ready to step into your soul recovery? Visit the website recoveryoursoulnet to learn more about the nine step soul recovery process. I hope that you'll join us the first Monday of every month for the free soul recovery support group on zoom, where we've learned more about soul recovery and connect with each other. If you'd like to work directly with me to move through the nine-step soul recovery process, I'm here for you, but you can also choose to work the steps on your own, with individual modules intended to support you to work at your own pace and on your own time. And if you want even more soul recovery, join us for the Recover your Soul bonus podcast for Patreon members and Apple podcast subscribers, where I interview amazing people, sharing soul recovery tips for us and also do spiritual book studies. You can also find daily inspiration on Facebook and Instagram and join our private Facebook community. Visit the website for more information, links and registration for everything. Back to the episode.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 13:04

Well, when we go to the of course mechanism of starting to say, of course, my desire to control comes because I had all this evidence when I was younger that this is how I could keep it all together. Or, of course, this way of being withdrawing, this way of being angry, this way of being nitpicky. Of course, these are the reactions that I have because at some point they were what worked. They were the solution or the best solution that you had at that moment. And as I started to have this word, of course there was a gentleness that came to me through it. It was like this tenderness to self that just gave me permission to be where I was and to not feel like I had done something wrong, but rather to say, yeah, that's how that was, and not judge it, to just witness it of what it was, because we're always showing up in the best that we have to offer. And the interesting thing is, sometimes it's not all that great and sometimes it's extraordinary, but if you give yourself grace and you say, of course, this was all I had at that moment, then you stop judging yourself and there's a little bit of relief that comes to it.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 14:21

So, as I started working this with myself, and then, when soul recovery started coming and then I started doing spiritual coaching it was definitely a term that I use on a regular basis, because it's what's been given to me to soften the heart, to stop judging yourself, to stop being so overly critical and then, as I've done, more spiritual studies and more reading. You know, I'm just, I'm constantly bringing in more information. I listen to a lot of things because it's a lot easier for me to listen than to read, with a whole variety of reasons, one being that I'm dyslexic and reading is a little bit harder for me. I definitely hear in auditory is a better learning, and then the other is just time. You know I'm a slow reader, so it takes me a long longer to read than it does to listen, but I'm basically listening to something all the time.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 15:19

And recently, at the Sacred Circle that's held here in Colorado every other month, the first Saturday of every other month that I do with my friend of mine who is another metaphysical minister, rev Crystal, and I do this amazing circle and this year we're doing little seeds of spirituality. So in the last couple years we've done different things books and different things and this year we're just bringing in all kinds of different resources. So last, the first in February, the last one we did we did guides and spirit guides and this time we did the Akashic records. And I'm thinking of this, of course, right now because I'm listening to a woman. Her name is Linda Howe and she teaches on the Akashic records and she is an amazing woman who I've loved so much and I've listened to her how to read the Akashic records, probably about three ish years ago, and that's been really transformational to me. So if you're interested in understanding more about Akashic Records or how to tap into that higher knowledge, that higher self, highly highly recommend her books. And she has a training from sounds true, that's great. Her books are great, but I was intrigued by this one book when I was looking her up that I hadn't listened to yet and it's how to heal using the Akashic records. And as I've listened to it, what I think is so great and this happens all the time and I'm so grateful it just tells me that I'm on track is that she's describing what has come to me that I call the soul recovery process. She's describing the same thing. This happens all the time, right? So I did a Hoffman process weekend.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 17:02

They also are about how to look at your beliefs, patterns and stories and how to work with those and rewire your brain to stop living from old beliefs, patterns and stories. Tony Robbins same basic principles, different way of teaching it how to take a look at what are those underlying beliefs, patterns and stories. How did they get there? How are you going to leverage your life to make different choices? Does the exact same thing, joe Dispenza? Same thing. We've got these beliefs and underlying stories that are going on underneath you. Just start really looking at these people who are giving all kinds of different modalities on how to change this process, and we're all giving essentially the same concept, the same base concept, with a circle around it that just looks and feels different, because everybody needs the language that speaks and works for them. That's the beauty of all of this is that the truth is love. There's just really this element of knowing that there is a foundational piece that says we come with these belief systems and then we can come back and remember.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 18:18

The Course in Miracles, which is so important to me, is all about letting go of the separation that we're separate, from choosing love over fear. All of this is really around that. So this particular book that I've been listening to by Linda Howe on how to heal from the Akashic records. She spent an entire chapter on the, of course, and my heart just warmed because I'd heard it in different places, sort of as just a passing, as a terminology, that passed, but she did this really deep dive into self compassion and how using the term?

Rev Rachel Harrison: 18:55

Of course I did, of course they did, of course this was the best that I had at the time and I loved it because it resonated so much with what we're teaching in soul recovery, which is can we let go of judging ourself? Can we actually let go of all the pressure that we have on ourselves to perform, to be perfect, to do it just right, to have certain feelings? Can we let them go and can you move into a place where you actually touch deeply, deeply, deeply, into your own experience, whatever it's been for you, and recognize that, of course, the way that you had showed up, or the way that you felt, or the way that you stayed, or the way that you ran, or the way that you reacted, or the way that you were hurt, or the way that you set up these belief systems, of course you did, and now we can do something about it. Now we can actually take our power back and stand in your sovereignty and begin to look at who you are and how you've been showing up, recognizing that now that you know better, you can do better. That of course you did, the things that you did. Of course, you felt the way that you felt and this incredible tool, I think, is just about self compassion, and it's that piece that says we have to go through some pretty intense stuff. That goes back to the resurrection and the crucifixion. Right, you have to go through intense stuff as a human being here on earth school.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 20:38

Our souls, actually, I believe, come here to have these pretty interesting wild experiences on purpose. I just watched soul on Disney plus. Last night, alex and Lexi went for their first time as new parents out without the baby and I got to stay home with Rocky for three hours, which he slept for, two of which was great in my arms, which was adorable and watch the movie soul and that was such a beautiful movie If you haven't seen it on Pixar. About what are we here for? Well, we're here to enjoy the deliciousness of what it is to be human, and and the deliciousness does not mean that it's always easy or good, it means that it's real, and I think that that movie does such a beautiful job of giving that truth that when we realize that we can wake up, that of course we were shut down, of course we were asleep.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 21:36

Of course I chose to drink to cover up the dysfunction that was all around me and the uncomfortable ways that were in my body. So it was the only thing that I could use at that time to soothe what felt out of control to me. And of course, I became an addict and an alcoholic because it is an addictive substance. But it doesn't mean that you have to continue to be on that path. It means that once you see it, once you name it, once you give yourself grace around it, then you can choose a different way. You can begin to say of course I have another choice, of course I can heal from this.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 23:31

All of it is giving you really a responsibility for your own internal way of being, and everything that I listen to and everything that I read shares the sentiment that I feel so deeply and have experienced in my own life. What you feel and experience about yourself on the inside is a direct reflection of what's on the outside. Now, do you create a life that's chaotic or difficult or painful? Not directly like that. But the more work that you do on aligning yourself inside and taking this incredible opportunity for deep self-love and compassion, it will indeed change how you see everything, most importantly, how you see and feel about yourself and when you can look at yourself out of love and give yourself grace and say, of course, that's what I did, and not beat yourself up about it, not have resentments to yourself about it, it, not have resentments to yourself about it you can begin to actually do that for others in your life and have more compassion for them where they're at and again, we're never saying that you're diminishing what actually happened or the pain that it may have caused you, but we're giving people grace for the complexity of which it is to be a human being in a life that is sticky and hard.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 25:11

And as I do this work for myself, there's just such a profound ability to love myself more deeply and, instead of judging myself, to say I can't believe that you did this to the kids, like go kind of going back to my story with with Alex and rich and everything that I've been talking about over the last month or so. You know I had this moment where I was feeling really, really, really bad. I was, I was really angry at myself for not quote unquote saving my children from the emotional complexity that we had for all those years with two alcoholic parents, my always blaming Rich. But if I give myself grace and I say, of course that's how I responded, then it literally was the best that I had. It literally was all that I could do to show up with. And of course my kids responded in the way that they did and of course Rich respond in the way that he did.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 26:15

But it doesn't sort of what's the word I'm trying to think of. It doesn't like give people a pass to, to show up in ways that are not okay. You can say, of course I did these things. There's a lot of things that I did. Of course I I wasn't all that great in those places, but the more responsibility that we can take for ourselves not from a place of judgment but from a place of deep, profound awareness and compassion to self, with this level of forgiveness that says, yes, this is how that happened it actually will allow you to go into those relationships with the people that were in part of that story and share with them from integrity, share with them with integrity, share with them with authenticity, share with them from vulnerability and say I really recognize that I have felt very short in that situation. I did not show up for you the way that you needed and wanted, and there's no defense in that. There's no trying to explain your side, there's no. There's no trying to explain your side. There's no. There's none of the justification that sometimes I think people will show up with in their amends or in their really healing the ruptures that happen in relationships. When you come in with that authenticity and that gentleness you're not backing it up with. But here's what was happening for me. So of course I couldn't, you know, be there for you because I was in pain. You leave all that out Inside. You know that. You may know that that's what that is, but you're actually just saying out loud to them I see, I see how I was showing up and I can see that it wasn't enough and the gentleness to yourself is yeah, of course I did.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 28:06

This level of self love and self compassion, I think, is the most essential piece in our spiritual journey, because when we can love and accept ourselves, we show up in everything in a different way, everything, and you deserve to be loved by yourself. You are worthy of being loved by yourself, they say in spirituality. If we could just understand how much love there is for us from the universe, then we would never doubt anything ever universe, then we would never doubt anything ever. I read recently in the way of mastery, which is one of the books that I'm reading right now that I love so much. It's another channel to work. I think I might've mentioned it recently as well, because it's it's really being impactful in my experience and it shared that our free will allows us to choose when we're going to remember that we're enough. Our free will is to have these wild experiences, but when you choose and you decide that you are enough, that you are worthy, that you are innately whole, that you are filled with love, that you are the grace of spirit divine, then everything starts to shift and then you can move to.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 29:26

Of course I feel more peaceful, of course things are working out more smoothly for me. Of course I'm able to show up more whole and real and loving and kind and authentic in each situation. Of course I'm having these synchronicities. Of course things are working out in ways that I could have never expected. We can give ourselves grace in all of it. In all of it, and through the darkness comes that peace, that is the resurrection, that is the knowing that there's unlimited love on the other side, that we are more than these complex situations that happen in our life. That's the beauty, of course. We're more so I really invite you to contemplate this concept, of course, using it for yourself first, for yourself first, and it's not an excuse, it's not an of course. They were like that. It's really a compassionate voice that says yeah, of course. And I want you to be gentle and tender and allow yourself to see what arises as you have this practice of self-love, because you are so deserving to love yourself fully, and when you love yourself fully, you're more open and available to be loved and to love others in your life too.

Rev Rachel Harrison: 31:02

Until next time, namaste. Others in your life too. Until next time, namaste. Thank you for listening and I hope that that helps support your soul recovery process. Just a reminder that every Friday is the Recover your Soul bonus podcast. This podcast is for Patreon members and Apple podcast subscribers, and not only do you get an incredible interview or book study that comes with being part of that community, but your subscribing helps support this podcast and the Recover your Soul community. If you want to listen to those bonus episodes but can't subscribe right now, do know that you can be a free Patreon member and have access, for limited time, to new episodes. Visit the website RecoverYourSoulnet or check out the show links below for coupons and information for upcoming events. I thank you for sharing this podcast with your friends and family. I thank you for giving it five stars, and the reviews that are left bring tears to my eyes. I am honored to be part of your life. Together, we can do the work that will recover your soul.